Monthly Archive November 2018

Moisture Effort

Eight pax came out to get swole. We tried to match the moisture in the air with our volume of sweat now dubbed, Moisture Effort. Quick disclaimer as we’re all aware of the rules and mosey round the parking lot to wait on any LIFOs. None arrived so off we went to the track. Entrance to the track was denied, locked gate, so we bent the rules ever so slightly and careful mounted the fence to proceed.

SSH x 20, IW x 20, Mtn climber x 20, Merkin x 10

The Thang part one
Track lap with stops every 50 meters to do exercise x 5. Plank/people’s chair  to wait on six

  • Lap one – SSH x 5 and IW x 5
  • Lap two – American hammer x 5 and flutter x 5
  • Lap three – mtn climbed x 5 and Merkin x 5
  • Lap four – jump squat x 5 and sister Mary Catherine’s x 5 (jump lunge)

Carefully climb back over the fence and head up to Semis second home. Grab a lifting rock and proceed to the baseball fields.

The Thang part duex
Bi’s, Tri’s and Shoulders sets

  • Station 1 – Bi’s: do 20 supine pull-ups and 20 bicep rock curls. Run to stairs and back
  • Station 2 – Tri’s: 20 dips on bleachers then 20 triceps extensions with rock. Run out and back
  • Station 3 – Shoulders: do 20 decline merkins then 20 over head rock presses. Run out and back.
  • When done do 10 bent row rock pulls and 10 good mornings.
  • Circle up and supersize it with 3 rounds of increasing reps by 5 bicep curl, overhead press and tricep extension. Start at 10 and push through 3 sets to 20. AFAP

Return rocks to their home and grab some wall. Quick people’s chair then move into some Mary.

Six Minutes of Mary – each pax gets a chance to pick an exercise x 10

  • Fireman Ed – 10 slow count merkins
  • Mailman – 10 something I forgot (Merican’ Hammer)
  • Sardine – 10 CDD one legged
  • Uncle Rico – 10 Freddie Mercury
  • Hannibal – 10 LBC
  • BOG – 10 flutter
  • Thunder Road – 10 rosalita
  • Udder – 10 heels to heaven

Nice to see some new faces, Mailman and Sardine, amongst the oldies but goodies. Mind the track fence when it’s wet. Danger Danger.

Track work may be monotonous but sprinkling in some holiday cheer with exercises every 50 meters keeps it fresh and the HR up. Uncle Rico led the way with his #smokeboots and nothing YHC could do would slow him down #tclaps. Fireman Ed and Sardine were huffing and puffing on my six as I tried to catch Rico. TR, BOG, Hannibal, and Mailman were all grouped right behind. A solid effort by all.

Rock work can be a blessing or curse depending on if you chose wisely or poorly. Everyone grabbed a solid stone, didn’t see any pebbles out there, and put in work. The station work was a grinder and the supersize me sets were just what we needed to be bulging from our fresh pressed button downs today#urwelcome.

Finish it up with some crowdsourced Mary and we call that a workout. Mailman has his VQ this week at Centurion so he got out the nerves with his Mary call.

Blessed to be able to lead and be lead by this fine group of men.

A51 xmas party Saturday 12/1/18. See preblast for info.

SOB xmas party Friday 11/30/2018. See preblaxt for info.

Joe Davis Run 03/09/2018. See preblast for info.

Prayers for M Hannibal and family as she undergoes Skin Cancer surgery this week.

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas…

or is it Dana’s freshly washed gloves.  I arrived early today to find the Christmas Tree lot up and lit which provided some nice lighting for the typically dark Pet Smart lot.  Southern Belle rode with me and was gracious enough to allow me to borrow some of his dumbbells for the umteenth time for one of my Q’s.  (Thanks again SB).

The plan today was to do exactly the opposite of what it appeared Ice 9 did last week at this site.  I read that the group last week got 3.6 miles in 45 minutes. (Wide Eyed Emoji).  So instead, I wanted to keep our heart rate up via small bursts of runs mixed with weight exercises.  I also wanted to throw in some new moves to spice things up.  5:15….lets go.


Mosey towards the traffic circle then sling shot around it towards target and circle up in the back parking lot.  Our dislaimers have been lazy and non complete lately so I wanted to make sure I did a full and complete disclaimer.  For your reading pleasure:

“Welcome to F3, my name is Fuse Box.  What I ask you to do today is only a suggestion.  Please workout at your own pace and modify as needed.  Do not sue me, the stores, or the developer of this shopping center.”

We only did one exercise for the warm up….but it was a good one.  Thanks again to Money Ball for bringing this one to the group as it has quickly become a favorite of mine to warm up with as it hits multiple body parts, gets the heart rate up, and gives the Q a chance to collect his thoughts.

Deconstructed burpees starting with the Q.  There was 9 of us so we went 9 rounds with each pax calling out a round.

9 Squats, 9 merkins, 9 in/outs, 9 Bobby Hurley’s.  Then 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1.  Zinfandel had some trouble with the initial counting but he recovered well.  Knish lucked out and only had to count to 1.  Being a West Virginia guy, I wasn’t quite sure of his counting skills so I made sure when I started that we went to me right to allow him only a 1 count.


Quick mosey to Pet Smart partnering up along the way.

One partner does inch worm merkins towards the Christmas Tree Lot while the other partner runs to the cart holder for 10 supines and then back.  Initially thought we would to to the tree lot and back to the cart holder, but saw that would bee too much.  Modified to 3 rounds.

Quick Mosey to Hickory Tavern where Gear was waiting on us.  I had intended to do a minute of toe taps on the curb before we started, but forgot (I hate Winkies).

Partner 1 does Scorpion Derkins into a one legged lunge (One Legged Derkin then moving the one leg into the air down to the ground to perform a lunge).  Partner 2 runs the loop around Hickory Tavern.  It was shortly into round two that I noticed some of the pax were way faster than me….wait a minute, they weren’t doing a full loop!  One pax said, well you said run around Hickory Tavern.  Well, yeah…but that’s not what I meant!  Yall aren’t mind readers?  Quick further explanation of instructions to include a run around Hickory Tavern AND Brooklyn Pizza buildings.  This exercise always reminds me that I have poor balance and if done enough, I tend to have sore obliques the next day.  Unfortunately, because the Q poorly explained the running portion, I don’t think we got enough in to make the abs sore.

Next Round of Partner work included a lap around the parking lot while partner two did one of the following exercises.  Went until each pax completed two rounds of each weighted exercise.

  • Military Press with 30 lb dumbbells.  (Drop one dumbbell and press the single 30 when the two together got too heavy)
  • Flamingo reach for the stars (I had no name for this but Zinfandel called it this and it sounds as good as any I could come up with).  With either a 15, 20, or 25 lb dumbbell in right hand, reach the weight down to the left foot then do a one legged good morning into a one handed press.  This tests the pax balance probably more than any exercise I know.  More on the balance part later….
  • Upright row with two 15 lb keddle bells
  • Bent Over Row with Sand bag

Final round of partner work was a sand bag step up (Sand bag across your shoulders) while your partner runs to the stairs and crawl bears backwards up the stairs then runs around the short parking lot back to hickory tavern steps.  Several pax compared the crawl bears to the movie American History X claiming they were about to eat pavement.


  • A great group of men today.  It is so much easier Q’ing a smaller group so today was a nice change of pace from Q’s past were there were 20 plus.  Still a solid 9.
  • Thanks to Damascus for the invite to come out.  We did a Q swap at each of our sites and after I heard he killed ’em at Chiseled, I knew I needed to try to bring something special today.
  • Speaking of Damascus, I complemented him on how well he was keeping his balance on the Flamingo reach for the stars exercise.  He proclaimed that it was because of his wide, Fred Flintstone Feet.  I said tongue in cheek that it likely has more to do with dick size and that its like a tale on animals…the larger ones can use it to balance better.  It was shortly after I floated this joke/theory that I lost my balance and had to go to two feet…..I will pause now to let the laughter and jokes subside about my lack of balancing parts.
  • Southern Belle was the unlucky one that got me as a partner today.  Good work SB.
  • Zinfandel and Dana appeared to crush it today.
  • First time meeting Chastain.  Fast Gazelle that kept Damascus moving all day.  Good work by you both.
  • A favorite Respect of mine Shop Dawg pushed hard today.  Always good seeing Shop.
  • Akbar working hard as usual and teamed up well with Knish today.  Those two got after it.
  • While running the parking lot loop I did stop (in my head, not literally) to smell the Christmas Trees.  Nice to see decorations going up and taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the season.
  • According to Zinfandel’s $500 watch, we got 2 miles in today.  Good work by everyone.  My Q’s tend to be less running but still getting the heart rate up.  About the time you get comfortable with a low mileage Q I will throw a Gazelle 3 miler in on ya.  I’d say we are getting close to that Change Up Pitch.
  • As usual, I had much more planned but ran out of time.  We will save the sand bag farmer carry relay for another day.


  • Christmas Party Nov 30th
  • Effee Awards Dec 7th, Briarcrest Club House @ 8:00.  Those that arrive early are welcome to pregame tailgate.
  • Zinfandel’s Jingle Jangle Beer Exchange Dec 15th in his driveway.  A favorite of mine every year so make sure you attend if you can.  Bring a communal six pack, throw it in a huge ice tub, and start trying new beers.  Drinking games and corn hole are there to help get the beer down quicker.
  • Dancing Bear’s (Fart Sacker) Shampoo Crew Charity is collecting gloves, hats, and socks on top of the toiletry items for the homeless.  For those unaware, once the shelters are full, they hand out socks, hats, and gloves to the over flow folks to help them survive the below freezing temperatures.
  • Wedding Singer has a VQ tomorrow at Watchtower – 5:30 Brooklyn Pizza.  Solid guy that has been coming often.  Make sure you come out to support his first Q (I will be out of town).

Black Friday Convergence > Turkey Jam

13 PAX from Cerberus, Centurion and The Brave converged at Waverly on a blustery Black Friday morning to exorcise Thanksgiving debauchery and prove Paper Jam wrong.


Mosey across Providence Rd. to new Harris Teeter parking lot for COP:

  • SSH x 20 IC
  • IW x 20 IC
  • LSS x 20 IC
  • MC x 20 IC
  • Tempo Merkins x 20 IC
  • Peter Parkers x 15 IC

Mosey to Central Park and partner up.  Partner 1 performs merkins on side of field while partner 2 runs to opposite side of field, performs 2 burpees and runs back.  Flapjack until a cumulative 100 merkins are reached.  Repeat, but with a cumulative 200 squats.  Repeat, but with a cumulative 200 LBC’s

Run down field, doing a pyramid of jump squats along the way.  1 jump squat at first tree, 2 at 2nd tree, etc, up to 10 jump squats and then back down to 1.

Mosey to road that borders the park for suicides. 1 burpee at the start, then run to 1st street light and back.  2 burpees at start, then run to 2nd street light and back.  Etc, up to 7 burpees / street lights.

Back to Central Park for March of the Toy Soldiers aka lunge walk approx 100 yards.

Mosey to Harris Teeter parking lot for 4 Corners / 11’s.  At 1st corner perform 10 plank jacks and 1 flutter (each leg).  Run to next corner for 9 plank jacks and 2 flutters (each leg).  Etc, until down to 1 plank jack and up to 10 flutters.

Mosey to side of Harris Teeter.  Partner 1 in people’s chair while partner 2 runs up steep hill, performs 1 jump squat and returns.  Flapjack.  4 total rounds.

Return to launch for Jack Webb until time expires (got up to 7 merkins and 28 air presses).


  • Billy Goat wore a full-on snowsuit and it was fantastic
  • Thin Mint had a dude wipe stashed under his hat.  The morning after Thanksgiving you can never be too careful.
  • After a flurry of Slack messages on Thanksgiving, Cheese Curd figured out where and when the convergence was.  If only there was a schedule online…
  • Tolkien flew under the radar, a far different beast than the Tolkien of old who would have been doing karaoke and backflips as we traveled from point A to point B.
  • Thin Mint almost impaled himself on a random stake on the big field. #disclaimer
  • It is pretty clear that the automatic mowers (think roombas) on the big field are self-aware and don’t like us
  • The 4 corners / 11’s thing made perfect sense in YHC’s head but not in the real world.  Mighty Mite implemented his own interpretation and it was probably better than what was called.
  • YHC pulled an audible with the people’s chair / hill climb combo.  After all, you can’t just mosey past a hill like that without doing something stupid on it. There was a little friendly competition during round 4 between YHC and Doc McStuffins, with the better athlete/man reaching the wall first.
  • During COT McGee made a passionate appeal for the PAX to check out WAMRAP (Wednesday AMRAP workout at Waverly).  He even definitively clarified what the “W” stands for, but you had to be there.
  • Overall the effort was strong by all and we stayed together nicely throughout.  Great work, men.
  • Fun times at Panera coffeeteria.  The only thing stronger than the workout was the oatmeal that YHC enjoyed.  I could feel it coursing through my veins and helping me to recover instantly.  I just might scoop a helping into my back pocket before Kiawah.  The highlight of the morning was when Mighty Mite pointed out that Thin Mint had egg on his face, and not the metaphorical kind.
  • After Paper Jam’s #fakenews that no one would post the day after Thanksgiving, we tied his “Turkey Sham” with 13 PAX.  However, if you count a Dasher sighting at coffeeteria, we actually won.  Better luck next year PJ.

Hurley’s Revenge

The day after Thanksgiving is always a challenge to post; too much food, booze, and souffle’s in the last 24hrs. The workout was pushed back to 6:30 to allow for some extra sleep and Transsporter shed pre workout type activities. Then old man winter came to town – with temps in the freezing zone it looks like most folks decided a dutch oven fartsack was just what their wives wanted –

With that 11 strong posted for some post gobble gobble fun and a tribute to the greatest basketball player to hail from the garden state – Bobby Hurley.
Warm up – Quick mosey around the lot
Hurley wore #11 so warm up’s to 11
ssh, imperial walker, merkin, mountain climbers and then dugans. A basic how to of the bobby hurley was demonstrated.

The Thang
Head over to middle school cafe for 11’s of Dips, Derkins and step ups.
Start with 11 for the group of 3, then 10 , then 9 –rinse and repeat all to 1

Head to the bb court.
Sideline to sideline – round 1 – 15 touches in 1 minute
round 2 – 13 touches and then round 3 try for 10 or 11.
That got the heart pmuping

Head to the HS gym entrance for March Madness. Hurley went to 3 Final Fours – so this would round would celebrate the NCAA tourney.
64 chair Air press
32 Donkey Kicks
8 Mike Tysons
4 Knee Slaps
2 Burpees

Head to front of High School
Partner up – 3 Rounds
P1 – 11 Step Ups while P2 does a hot lap>>>>>exchange is 11 hand slap merkins

Mosey to side of HS
Repeat NCAA Tourney in rapid fashiom

Mosey to front of Middle School
5 burps>>>>hot 1/2 lap
4 Burps>>>1/2 lap


thankful for this group that braved the cold and calorie spike. NO amount of exercise could make up for the pumpkin pie overload but this go the blood flowing. shout out to deadwood for stalking us with the drone – looking to get some good marketing material for us —-let us know what social channel that is on so we can promote!!!
Announcements – f3 SOB/WUC xmas party 11/30 – Effies Dec Friday 7th Briarcrest = Big Lots, new book for bible study – how to lead for men, Business Clothes donation for COTS and bring winter gear (hats, gloves, socks, coats) for Charlotte Men’s Shelter – Dancing Bear will be collecting – along with all the toiletries that you can steal on business trips.

Thanksgiving Remorse

With the anticipation of a few others wishing to offset their gluttony from the previous day; a small goup of 14 PAX including a couple converging workhorses from Joust (Header, Chin Music), our favorite South African (Boerewors), an FNG (Smartbomb) and our Nantan (Alf) joined us Kevlar regulars on this fine Friday 6am workout.

We moseyed out of the parking lot to jog around and warm up in the morning cool air giving a couple of stragglers (Semi-Gloss and Joker) time to find us. Circled up in the main quad for some SSH, IW, LSS, RDL x 25 and Merkins. After finding the field locked up tight I audibled to Reid Hall across 51 for a “tripod” run with merkins and squats on either side of the three pronged cul-de-sac. A short plank set and back over to campus, grab a lifting rock, overhead press, curls and chest press x 20 with a sprint in between sets, all that x2. Quickly back over to the main church for some partner work, P1 suicide sprints to 3 islands while P2 does merkins…ouch. Mosey back to launch/mini-track for F3 version of “Duck duck goose”. PAX circles up for various called Mary exercise by the one who sprints around the mini-track. Somehow, burpees entered the equation (thanks Rhapsody) along with a random cornucopia of exercises. We finished with a “Men’s Health get ripped in 10 days” special, I think it was called “rock the boat” or “wobble wobble”…another classic difficult core maneuver by Squid. And done. Solid workout overall, stuck to the basics and covered over a 5k of running…nice!

FNG Matt came out after being invited for the last 4 years…we settled on “Smartbomb” (named after the enemy-clearing weapon from the classic video game Defender…) after we learned of his Dairy Queen clearing gas bomb back in college (thanks OrangeWhip).

Great to see a couple faces from Joust this am, we will converge again later in December around Christmas. Thank you Squid for the takeout prayer. Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend!!

Fountains, Corners, Points But No Oatmeal at Turkey Jam

13 PAX came for the promise of 4 miles and other stupid stuff to justify the crap that they will eat the rest of the day. None left disappointed.  After an air-tight disclaimer, we launched at 6:30 sharp while a few late comers were pulling in.

With everyone in toe, it was time to circle up in front of the movie theatre for the COP:

SSH x 10, 5 merkins OYO, LSS x 10, 5 hand release merkins OYO. IW x 10.


Here is an overview of the route we ran:

Activity map of “F3 Turkey Jam”

Run to the big fountain in front of StoneCrest.  Grab a chair for arm work in cadence count: shoulder press x 10, tricep extension x 10, curls x 10.

Run to the smaller fountain next to Flying Biscuit.  Grab a chair for more arm work in cadence count: shoulder press x 10, tricep extension x 10, curls x 10.

Then run to the fountain at Robinson Farms. On the way, stop at each street corner and perform 5 burpees.  Circle up around the fountain and perform 1 incline merkins then hand walk to the right around the fountain until you return to your starting point.

Run to the fountain at St. Matthews. At the median that includes the fountain, perform 10 merkins at each of the four (4) points of the median.

From there, run to the fountain next to the Wells Fargo near the Post Office.  10 step ups each leg on the fountain wall.

Next stop, the fountain near the rock pile at the bottom of the Murderhorn. Run up Ballantyne Commons and run thru the neighborhood. Stop at some corners to wait for the six.

At the rock pile grab a lifting rock. Final round of arm work in cadence count: shoulder press x 15, tricep extension x 15, curl x 15 then triple lindy.

Mosey to the bottom of the Murderhorn. Run to the first light pole on the right and return to the bottom, then run to the second light pole on the right and return to the bottom, then run to the 3rd light pole and wait for the six.

Back to the AO for circle of Mary with each PAX calling an exercise of 10 reps (not 15) and we were done.


Turkey Jam was started 3 years ago when Alf opined about no AO being open on Thanksgiving morning. Since I was in town and needed some way to counterbalance all the food I would eat, I stepped up to lead. Last year, it was given its official name by Bunker and it was a 3 mile work out. This year, since I am a runner, I needed to add an extra mile. When Billy Goat offered Rebel Yell, I knew it was time to include the Murderhorn.  (I quickly regretted that decision while I was running up to the 2nd light pole).

Along with a thorough workout, a tradition of Turkey Jam requires each of the PAX in attendance to say something they are thankful for during the COT. But it must be specific. It is amazing to hear the hearts and minds of our F3 Brothers. It makes coming out early on Thanksgiving morning worth it.

Thank you for taking us out Kirby and I always appreciate the opportunity to lead.

Now let’s eat!


It was a great morning to be with the boys as always, hopefully I was able to create a caloric deficit to provide the ability to fully enjoy a great Thanksgiving meal with family and friends!  See the below for the details.

Merkins 20 IC


Mosey to the rocks

40 Merkins on your own

Partner up
Grab a “Proper Lifting Rock” (one that requires the necessitation of utilizing two hands to handle)
30 dry docks for a shoulder warm up
200 push press with rock while partner runs to light until completion of 200 reps
200 curls with rock while partner runs
50 LBCs
50 Dead Cockroaches
30 Merkins OYO
200 Tricep Extensions with rock while partner runs
200 Bent Over Rows with rock while partner runs
30 Merkins OYO

Put rocks back and mosey to the cars

50 LBCs

30 Merkins

25 Dead Cockroaches

30 Merkins

Everyone worked out hard and had some great time catching up and hearing about great Thanksgiving stories of years past and what this year has to come.  I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and travels safely!

Gear Day at Gumby

Gear day at Gumby.  Tweeted and Slacked to tell Pax to bring 2 or more large cans.  All but one (no names, Geraldo) got the message.  Madison and Arena had the manliest man-sized cans.  Grave Dancer had regular sized, but brought three, so I can’t pick on him.  Anyway, we ran the Swiss Standard Tabata routine with best of The Who. Good time.

Devo: Throughout the bible, we see that God wants us to be grateful (Col 3:17, Phil 4:6, 1 Chron 16:34).  Like a muscle, you can work on gratitude and it becomes stronger.  Take time to “exercise” your gratitude, and teach your kids (example: gratitude tree).

Vinyasa – 1X slow to take time to de-kink, then 3X OYO to warm up

The Main Thang:

LEFT: Lizard 45s

Hammy stretch 45s  With your cans for support!

Lizard Quad 45s


Vinyasa 1X OYO


Meet in Table Top

Cat/Cow X5

LEFT: Bird dog/Cheetah 5X

Side Split 45s

Twist Side Hip 45s


Vinyasa 1X OYO


Grab your cans and: Squat down for:

Malasana 60s

Vinyasa 1X OYO


Step back into Pigeon:

LEFT 60s


Seated twist 30s L, 30s R

Prone shoulder flip 45s (L/R)

Cross shoulders 45s (L+R)

Neck stretch 45s (L+R)

Vinyasa 1X OYO


Back down to six:

Single knee hug 45s (L/R)

Supine twist 45s (L/R)

Dead pigeon 45s (L/R)

Happy baby 45s

Shoulder across chest 45s (L/R)




  • Rebel Yell AO convergence at 6:30-7:30
  • Turkey Bowl @ Elon Park @ 7:00
  • Strange Brew on deck for next week’s Gumby. Bring something to help balance for the more painful wall stretches.
  • Christmas Party Dec 1, $15/per + cash bar
  • SOB Christmas Party Nov 30



Great to have Paper Jam back.  Pokey has been shipped to Florida for the winter, so we can look forward to having PJ and some other “don’t mind the drive” SOB Pax join us for recovery and stretching until things warm back up outside and Pokey returns.

Thanks for bringing food to donate. YHC dropped the cans (felt like ~ 60# KB worth) at the Second Harvest food drive bin at the Wells Fargo branch on Matthews/Mint Hill Rd.  As we remember to be grateful (see Devo above), it’s a great time of year to share the wealth, and love on our neighbors.  Volunteer, donate or both.  Teach your kids that that’s just what we do as Christians.


-Swiss Miss

Don’t Call It A Comeback

19 Pax posted this morning to a possible Frack rebirth. It was no surprise that an F3 advocate like myself showed up with a FNG. As expected we didn’t cover much ground but none the less everyone put in some work.

Warm Up:  A quick mosey to circle up for SSH x 20, Burpees x 10, IW x 20, Merking x 15, Peter Parkers x 15.

The Workout:

Partner work with 1 person running around track and other performing Merkins (combined 300).

1 person bear crawling across football field and sprinting back and other performing Squats (combined 500).

Partners grabbed a rock/cinder block.

Partner work with 1 person running with friend over head while other partner did 2 burpees and chased. Flap jack until we went down and back twice.

Partner work with 1 person sprinting down and back and other performing tricep pushups (combined 300).

Ab work mixed in during the workout.


Welcome FNG’s Garbage Plate and Fric. It’s always a privilege to lead this awesome group. Shout out to Goodfella for getting back to F3. There are still a few spots open for the SOB F3 Christmas party on 11/30 at PDS club house starting at 7pm with Hickory Tavern catering. $25 per person. Bottle Cap is collecting business and winter attire for church in the streets. Prayers for Johnny Utah’s wife that is struggling with back issues.



Bohemian Rhapsody

This summer, I saw the movie “Bohemian Rhapsody” was coming in November. I knew immediately I was going to make a workout of it. Saw others across the Nation do similar tributes. They may have a great playlist, but they don’t have what I have – too much time to think about theme & choreography. Debate is still out whether it’s a curse or blessing.

Pre-Warm Up

Flash Gordon Theme (2:58)
Why no one else has thought about playing this as the Intro to a Flash workout, I’ll never know.
#ProTip – for those music-infused workouts, playing an intro song prior to the start ensures your Bluetooth connection is solid. Can also use it to set the tone for the workout.
Last line of the song is especially apropos: “Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours 45 minutes to save the Earth!”

Warm Up

Don’t Stop Me Now (3:29)
Mosey to just past the yellow poles and plank it up. To preserve Big10’s #ShortestMosey, we plank about 10 feet beyond his spot.
Disclaimer given that bordered on chastisement for poor decision making ability, when better AO’s (for today) exist just beyond these limits of space & time.
Various sprinter stretches as I explain we are going to race to the 3rd light pole. Stay in the same order you arrive and plank up shoulder to shoulder. That third light is a bit of a blinker, so I even left a giant cone in the middle of the sidewalk with a light on top of it. Reminded me of the Luxor.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner belonged to Mr. Bawk Ba Gawk; (full 11 minute clip = dude continues to get faster! Chicken Little goes to the back of the line to find his best friend/partner. #2 goes to next to last in line, & so on. There must have been a good deal of sandbagging, because I won with One Star.
Partner 1 grabs a rock while Partner 2 does SSH until everyone gets in.
Set the rock down on the sidewalk, and mosey to the side of the school. Balls to the Wall until everyone gets in.

The Thang

We Will Rock You (2:01)
3 count wall claps on the chorus; v1 = donkey kicks; v2 = Bobby Hurleys; v3 = Mike Tysons; v4 (guitar solo) = donkey kicks
Short song, but packed a quick cardio wallop here.
As I was explaining what to do prior to the song, One Star says, “If this is Bohemian Rhapsody, so help me…” Quick to pick up the theme, but not everyone’s favorites made it on to the playlist.

Hammer to Fall (3:40)
Starting from the cafeteria, make the loop to Transporter’s Office, back up the sidewalk to where our rocks/cone/Luxor light are waiting. At each light, 10 American Hammers. Some Pax struggle to get 2=1, while Zinfandel sees lights that aren’t on the route. No worries, Zin; beats the alternative.

Don’t Try Suicide (3:52)
Reunited with rocks & partners, P1 lunge walks back to yellow poles with rock overhead; P2 runs to poles and back to P1 and flapjack.
If you finish before others, do a back to back rock pass.
During one of the rounds, Zin shouts to his best friend Lt. Rubbermaid, “Let’s hurry up & get this done so we can get to the back to back thingy!” I *THINK* he was trying to be sarcastic, but his tone was too gleeful to tell.

You’re My Best Friend (3:52) & Somebody to Love (4:56)
In the parking lot, P1 runs clockwise with the rock overhead. P2 runs counterclockwise. When they meet, 10 Big Boy Situps, passing the rock back & forth with legs interlocked. Flapjack. It is #ManTouchMonday, Pax, right?
While I am Switzerland on the topic of #MTM, I do notice several Pax doth protest too much for these types of exercises. I am a stick poker, FWIW. Especially since the Pax couldn’t outright choose their best friend, I hope this provided new opportunities to explore their relationships.

Dragon Attack (4:25)
Line up at the far end of the parking lot. P1 does Imperial Triceps Walkers with the rock while P2 Bear Crawls beside him. Go the length of the parking lot, swapping at least once, up to as many times as needed. Must stay together.
As I was demonstrating the ITW, I couldn’t help feeling a bit like Freddie himself, strutting on stage at Wembly. You should try it, in private, while playing your favorite Queen song.
In an unlikely pairing, I see Doughboy & Longhorn making quick work of this. But WAAAYY out in front is Foundation / Old MacDonald. Foundation seemed to have a new found fondness for the bear; I don’t think he allowed the Respectable Farmer a turn on the asphalt. I am a bit of a matchmaker; can I introduce you to Doughboy?
Being my partner is painful enough, but to do it while I Q is the worst. One Star takes the rock first, but my hands are full with speaker & phone. I can’t bear crawl, so I just do a really hunched over walk to look like I’m doing it. I offer to swap about halfway through. He takes my stuff & runs it to the end of the parking lot where we are headed anyway. Then comes back for his real bear crawls. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I’m not the sharpest spoon in the knife drawer.

Stone Cold Crazy (2:21)
Facing your best friend, side shuffle with the rock down the sidewalk. At each light, do 11 squats, handing the rock back and forth at the synchronized low point of each squat. Be sure to flapjack positions to give both IT bands a boost. Put your rock back when finished.
Still trying to get these stupid rocks back to their home. How can I make this more socially awkward? #NailedIt
A couple thought that the Luxor light was a #DeadwoodTribute, with his headlamp becoming Fuse’s Towelly equivalent companion of late.

Tie Your Mother Down (3:45)
Run back to sidewalk where we did the wall work. Xerox exclaims breathlessly that NOW we’re getting to the good stuff of Queen. Really? I love the song, too, but now wonder what kind of things he does on those MFP’s. #MakingCopies

Seven Seas of Rhye (2:47)
There’s a non-symmetrical midpoint of this sidewalk that has a short piece to the building. Huge crowd, so use the partner concept to split them evenly. The faster partner goes to the longest length of sidewalk; slower partner gets shorter side. Doing 7’s. Here at the midpoint, Scorpion Dry Docks. Run backwards to the ends of the sidewalk and do Bomb Jacks.
Pax seemed to struggle only doing a 1 legged exercise at each round. Thanks to Popeye for clarifying – left leg in one round, right leg in the next round.
Have to cut this short to make sure we get back in time for the finale.

Headlong (4:33)
Back at the magical Luxor light. Best friends run together back to the parking lot. At each light, do a bropee. Bropee = face each other to do a burpee, on the jump at the end, do a jumping high five with your BF.
Saw this progression in most every pair: 1st light = awkward; 2nd light = starting to get it; 3rd light = buddy cop movie

As Pax start circling up in the parking lot, a little confusion. Some believe we’re done. Some believe we need to knock out a quick Mary before we’re done. Old MacDonald is the first to offer Freddie Mercuries while we wait for the 6. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” Can’t get more foreshadowy than that.

Bicycle Race (3:01)
On your six, with feet at 45º, arms out at 45º also. When “Bicycle” or “Bike” is said, do a Freddy Mercury (2=1).  Return to this banana pose while waiting. Neither feet nor arms will touch the ground during the song.
Why do 6 minutes of Mary, when you can just get on your bike & ride?!? At the midpoint, during the bike bells, I offered up Flutters to pass the time. Several took me up on it. #PassingGear Noticed others drop out of the race entirely. #FatBottomGirls
And we finish right on the minute, as Ignition runs in, as #ChampionsOfTheWorld.
Judging by the immediate comparisons to Rockwell’s Thunderstruck, this seems to have been a crowd pleaser.


Foundation #QWhispered me for this Flash gig with only 3 days notice. That’s easily 94 days shorter than my customary Q notification. And I don’t know how I feel about being #QWhispered to when I invented the concept. I even said no as soon as he asked. But I can’t outrun the guy. And he’s running next to me until I say yes. Short of a Big10 rollout, I’m stuck. Fine. Let’s bring out Uncle Posse’s Good Time Razz-a-ma-tazz Sweating to the Oldies Whirligig, and see what flies.

I’m not going to thank him for letting me Q, as I think we can all agree that was a poor choice from the beginning. We all just made the best of it. I forgive you. Let’s not let this happen again.


  • Prayers for Hollywood’s family on the unexpected loss of his Mother-in-Law.
  • Prayers for Radar as doctors try to answer why leg pain & swelling are occurring.

No workouts in the WUC for Thanksgiving, so head to one of these 3 places instead of fartsacking:

  1. 0600 Fort Mill Convergence
    Springfield Elementary School – 1691 Springfield Pkwy, Fort Mill, SC 29715
  2. 0630 Turkey Jam – 4 miles of fun/stupidity (likely most athletic & smallest turnout of the choices)
    Stonecrest Theaters (Rebel Yell AO) – 7832 Rea Rd, Charlotte, NC 28277
  3. 0700 Metro Convergence
    A.G. Middle School – 1800 Runnymede Ln, Charlotte, NC 28211

Perfect time to meet up with other brothers in other regions. Strongly suggest clown car to these sites to enhance the 2nd F.

Another convergence happens this Saturday, 11/24. Commitment shuts down to converge with Outland (1409 Wesley Chapel Rd, Indian Trail, NC 28079). Start time = 0700. Even though there will only be 3 EUC’s present on Saturday, those who show are good guys. Still a great location with acres of fun.

Fuse is upset that Hooch & I are not gratuitous self-promoters for recently being on a Round Table podcast about job networking & recruiting. If you don’t regularly listen, the Round Table podcasts (typically) come out on Fridays. They cover one F3 related topic each time – wide variations. Then, on Mondays, in the same spot, there is a 43 Feet podcast. This is Dark Helmet & Dredd talking about leadership principles and culture components of F3 (which, in a leaderless group of leaders, has some fascinating underlying premises). If you use an Apple device, search for F3 Nation in the podcasts thingy. If you tend to enjoy using more brain cells with your Droid, then download the free Soundcloud app & search for F3 Nation. It will look VERY similar to this: