The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming… 

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming… 

My second Q since popping my cherry just 12 days ago and I was already feeling really apprehensive about the next one. I could barely sleep last night and was nervous after all the older guys were so relentlessly bashing my gearless-gear workout. I’m kidding, I’m Bruce Wayne and I immediately tapped my Batman spirit when I got the signal from Foundation.

The title for this workout came to me while pooping in the Batcave and it would serve as my homage towards the Dark Knight. You might remember this quote from that movie as said by Harvey Dent when the Joker and the guys from Asylum & Ignition his goons were threatening civility in The Playhouse Gotham. The loose meaning of the quote is to say that its about as dark as its going to get right now but from this moment we start heading towards the light.

I spent part of Sunday mapping out each of the street lamps across the campus of Cuthbertson and created a workout solely focused on the “light”. On Friday Dasher handed us a whooping but one that I actually enjoyed. I needed to some how keep my brethren, the 6, closer. Could it be that I might create a workout with as little stoppage time as possible but somehow spread the pain across different parts of the body so that we don’t loose the 6? Oh we did just that….


Disclaimer given right at the start

Long-ish Mosey into nearly complete darkness and the basis for the theme of this workout. 35 degrees out this AM and figured being under what I assumed were heat lamps would help with the mental. It didn’t….

Made it to the first light out in front of the middle school closest to Cuthbertson Road. I attempted thought about lining everyone up bootcamp style but instead were just a mess of dudes. Regardless I wanted to try something other than circling up. So we warmed up at each light until we got passed Moneyball Mountain (12 lights):

  1. 20 x SSHs IC
  2. 20 x Mountain Climbers IC
  3. 20 x Merkins CC
  4. 20 x Squats CC
  5. 20 x LBCs IC
  6. 20 x Potato Pickers IC
  7. 20 x Peter Parkers IC
  8. 20 x Heels to Heaven IC
  9. 20 x Parker Peters IC
  10. 20 x Carolina Drydocks CC
  11. 20 x Paula Abdul’s IC
  12. Leg Stretch

Small Lot = The Burpee Loop (7 lights)

  • 1st Light, 1 Burpee
  • 2nd Light, 2 Burpees
  • 3rd Light, 3 Burpees
  • 4th Light, 4 Burpees
  • 5th Light, 3 Burpees
  • 6th Light, 2 Burpees
  • 7th Light, 1 Burpee

Speedskater Strip (5 Lights) – get deep & touch the ground like you mean it

Massive Lot – (18 lights)

  • 1st 8 lights: 10 Imperial Walkers for every light, stop at the top
  • Next 10 lights: 10 merkins, 2 squats, 8 merkins, 4 squats, 6 merkins, 6 squats, etc, etc. We got a little confused here after literally all of the workout so far had been done with 1 exercise per light but the train fell off the tracks for a few of us here. We recovered. Let’s mosey.

8 pack bridge (8 lights) aka “my elbows hurt”

  1. 30 second side plank
  2. 30 second side plank
  3. 30 second elbow plank
  4. 20 x LBCs IC
  5. 30 second side plank
  6. 30 second side plank
  7. 30 second elbow plank
  8. 20 x LBCs IC

Tennis Courts (3 lights)

  • 10 x Bobby Hurley’s per light

Beltway Home (6 lights)

  • Quickly modified due to time, 5 squat jumps per light

Made it back probably 60-90 seconds late, my bad. COT & thanks to Damascus for taking us out!


It was a great workout in my mind. Other than arriving a bit late to the finish all of it pretty much went as planned. The two highlights for me was when Tupperware’s little baby skin elbows were in such pain he needed to take his shirt off to act as an elbow pad? Stop it. Its freezing outside. The next memory was moseying towards Transporter’s Poopoo Palace shed and Posse shared some thoughts on our distance when compared to the amount of time left. I barked at him since I thought I knew what I was doing but he was in fact was right. A public apology was given at 6:45AM. I was hoping and had planned for 71 lights but feel good about getting to 59 street lights!

I appreciate my second opportunity to lead you fine gentlemen and thoroughly enjoy the fear each of you showed up with this morning knowing I might start doing aerobics at any minute. I don’t think we did any 80s-style aerobics but we did keep our heartbeats rolling for the full 45 minutes. Only one time did we wait on the 6 after 8 pack bridge which was my goal.

I will continue to improve with the support and push of each of you. If you have ideas, let me know as long as your name is not Keith or Lou.

Lastly, zero thanks to anyone from Briarcrest today as all 10+ members bailed on me this morning. I hope each of you gets a flat in the near future. Post picture on GroupMe please.


  • Lotions & Bone Frogs
  • Welcome our newest FNG who was named given the name High Life, I’m noticing a trend for those from CO. Thanks for joining us this morning First Name Clifton and I will make sure to get your first name next time! Great work recruiting Damascus.
  • Posse announced the Crane Relay, still opportunities to sign up and/or volunteer this coming weekend. Starting Friday night at 9pm through Saturday.
  • Bottlecap is starting a Thursday night running group with pain stations. It will start at Food Lion parking lot @630pm followed by a beer afterwards. If this becomes a permanent spot it will be referred to as “Clyent Dinner”.
  • WUC F3 Initial Stock Offering aka $1.6B Mega Millions Lottery Pool is running now through tomorrow, Tuesday at noon! A minimum $2 a share buy-in and no maximum contribution. All details posted in News Channel and The Playground.

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