A group of 21 very experienced ladykillers took this VQ under their wings this morning to see me finally become a man. I told them I wasn’t a professional, but I went ahead and decided to make them pay.
First stop was a shady dark utility lot for some warmup. SSHs, Imperial Walkers, LSQs, and some windmills limbered up the limbs and we headed to the track for an easy lap including some Karaoke and backpedaling.
Then, the fun began…
20 Sister Mary Catherines
20 Mountain Climbers
20 Skater Lunges
Take a lap and make it count on the backstretch
Wait for the 6 in an “Al Gore” seated position and like it
(Repeat all of the above 3 times)
Hand the keys to Champagne and mosey to the turf…
4-legged starfish with 5 double-merkin burpees in center field between each leg…
10 Wide-arm Merkins
10 Diamond Merkins
10 Carolina Drydocks
(Repeat all of the above twice)
Grinders (‘nuf said)
Mosey to the lot for a new world record 200 flutter kicks and cash it in
Susan G Komen Race for the Cure is this weekend. Speed for Need is pushing 8 cancer survivors and looking for volunteers. Contact Tolkein (aka “Token”) to get involved. (Doc McStuffins gave a heartfelt testimony for “Heathers’ Heroes”. You can have a tremendous impact on the life of a survivor by giving them a unique raceday experience)
Apparently, One Eye needs to be renamed One Ear, because he completely failed to hear my instructions on the track and took off like a Sooner in the Oklahoma land rush of 1889.
A big shoutout to Hops and Champagne for challenging me to lead today, as well as Revlon, Mermaid, Alf, Hopper, and many others for coaching me on my VQ prep. It was also great to catch up with Mall Cop today, since he’s the dirty son of a gun who gave me this awful name.. As many of you know, I moved to town 3 months ago without really knowing a soul, so this group has been a true blessing to me, and I am sincerely grateful. As Doc McStuffins would say, “Moochos Grassyos”.
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