Ghost Writing a VQ

Ghost Writing a VQ

I was asked in advance by Southern Belle if I could ghost write his first Back Blast due to an early morning trip to Wilmington.  I warned him that as I’ve said in the past, if I have to ghost write it….I’m bringing the pain as to deter others from not writing the BB.  He agreed and said go do it because otherwise the BB wouldn’t come at all.  So here goes….

17 Pax showed up to see if an old man could make it through his own workout.  Many were disappointed to find out he could.  Southern Belle stepped out of the car with a determined look on his face and a head band that looked similar to what the ski bunnies (or maybe honeys?) wear on the slopes.  As with most VQ’s, it started with some questionable counting and flubbed exercise names.  Well – actually he got the exercise name right….I think the pax just didn’t want to do it so they pretended to question the name.


Mosey to the….wait…..what, no mosey?  Has this guy lost his mind.  We always start with a mosey.  Even Big Ten did a 10 foot mosey.  This Q has lost his mind.  Is he going to skip Side Straddle Hops too?????

  • 10 Side Straddle Hops (I saw the tip of the hat Southern Belle gave Big 10)
  • 10 Potato Pickers. We almost lost Frack.  The yoga comments started flying.
  • 10 Imperial Squawkers.  Wait what?  An imperial what?  Many of the pax appeared to be confused – or just put on a really good show.  Q actually had this exercise right though.
  • 10 Merkins (I think.  Remembering the counts when you didn’t develop the workout is surprisingly tough)
  • 10 Mountain climbers
  • Calf Stretch



Mosey to Main Street area.  Not sure the road name but its the one Mary O’Neil’s is on.  Q called out a light post workout.  5 Burpees at the first 5 light posts, 10 Q Jacks at next 5 light posts, 10 Mountain climbers at last 5 light posts.  Q was near the front….q juice was strong this morning.

Lunge Walk past dream chasers then alternating 10 merkins and 10 squats at the lights.  Go to end of the road and then bring it back.  This was a variation of a transporter workout in which we did 10 merkins at each light.  I initially thanked Southern Belle for adding squats in as it didn’t make it feel as bad….though now as I’m writing this I am realizing the doubling back part means we did just as many Merkins as transporter….but also that many squats.  You ole’ sneaky B****** (Insert what ever B word you wish there, I for one like the 7 letter one).  Q doubled back past me way faster than I was expecting.  Mary waiting on me the 6…..they appeared to be waiting awhile.  Probably because most of the Clydesdales were talking about how we could Q jack the workout and do keg stands at dream chasers instead.

Light post work again.  10 Plank Rotations at first 5 lights, 5 jump squats at next 5 lights, followed by 5 hand release merkins with a bear crawl in between the lights.  For me, the plank rotations are a deceptive ab workout.  I could feel my obliques tightening up towards the end.  Made some ground up on the jump squats….probably because I had bad form and not because I was faster.  Got to the hand release merkins and decided the heck with this to modify most of the bear crawls.  By this time there was lots of complaining from the pax about hands hurting and rough asphalt.  Southern Belle seemed to have a gleeful smile listening to the whining, or perhaps he was just glad that someone finally through out rubber maids gloves (by the way, mad love to the person that did that.  We all owe you one).  Southern Belle called out dips and step ups to mary as we waited on the 6 (which for once wasn’t me).

5 minutes left….what to do, what to do.  Southern Belle decided we would mosey back to start for abs.  Frack took an early lead and never looked back.

  • Southern Belle started us off with flutters…25 maybe?
  • He then passed the baton to Shake N Bake which I believe we can all now agree was a mistake.  I think we did 40 dollies?  I blacked out lost count.
  • Someone did Freddy Mercuries…I forgot who.
  • Rubber Maid did protractor and threw it to me… I was confused as to if he wanted me to continue counting protractors or do a new exercise….either way I kept doing protractors for a sneaky 10 count down then up.
  • Southern Belle attempted to shorten his own Q by 30 seconds but I wasn’t having it.  The newest Pax Eli closed us out with an attempted 10 back scratchers.  Southern Belle rudely interrupted him at 8, though I must admit they felt more like back scrapers that scratchers on that asphalt.



  • Great first Q for Southern Belle.  He had a plan and stuck to it.  Nice work.
  • Eli staying strong for only his second post.  Good meeting you today.
  • Chicken Little and Zinfandel stayed ahead of me most of the day which is depressing for me.  I thought I’d enjoy not being the 6 for a little while longer.  Good work.
  • Dana battled through a back injury….or apparently was floating that as an excuse to modify today.
  • Lawson vs Briarcrest battle was a tie today by my count….4 vs 4.  We would of had you beat but Dancing Bear decided to fart sack claiming he had an injury.
  • I think all the pax were in agreement that they paved downtown Waxhaw with a mixture of asphalt, rocks, and glass.
  • I really tried hitting Southern Belle in this bb….but its hard to.  He’s too nice of a guy and I have relatively little dirt on him.  His Dawgs are coming off one of their best seasons in years, kids are well behaved, no embarrassing stories.  Other than the fact that he is old, only slightly taller than Goodfella, and occasionally wears head bands; I don’t have any other ammo.
  • Frack continues to show he has turned over a new leaf.  I lobbed a couple softballs his way today and he didn’t hit back.  Stayed strong during stretching exercises, and even cracked a beer drink during announcements.  I kinda miss being called fat and slow by the new joyful Frack.  (Yeah, i’m kidding – thank god Frack has turned over a new leaf)
  • Rubbermaid and Shake N Bake on a 3 mile pre run.  Both sheding some weight recently and looking cut.  Good work.
  • Damascus was abcent….I guess he is still drinking cleaning up the spilled wine on the dog.


  • Sandbox looking for volunteers to mow the Commodores grass in Indian Land.  They have someone for this weekend but still need help through the fall.
  • No takers on the Hope Challenge.

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