Monthly Archive August 2018

Cobbler and Mario’s Revenge

12 PAX chose to avoid the fartsack, witness Bartwurst arrive early and wonder about the status of Paper Jam at the most recent edition of Blakovery.

With a stern command and no disclaimer, we were off to run the Reverse Flat Branch Route.


Just do this in reverse:


Today I officially became a runner. How did this happen you may ask? A runner is born when that person is about 20 minutes into a run and gastrointestinal pain usually associated with too many tacos hits him hard.  However, instead of checking to see if the Bi-Lo was open, he continues the run with optimism (sometimes called delusion) that he can make it to the woods, his house or back to Blakeney. He ventures into a neighborhood and finds himself in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere in SOB Land is defined as the middle of a neighborhood with only houses in sight. It is at that point he knows he is not making it more than 5 feet. He is clearly in a dilemma. What does he do? He takes the only option presented to him. A sewer grate next to the curb in a dark section of the street. He hopes no one drives or walks by since he is wearing a bright yellow shirt and long white socks. The movement is faster than a Frasier PR and he is back on track, stopping at McDonalds to make sure all is well and showing up in time for the last 90 seconds of stretching.

Thanks Fleetwood for leading the stretching and taking us out.

Never a dull moment at Blakovery.

Bon voyage Centurion

YHC got a late start and was tossing coupons on the pavement at the Tartarus at 5:25. Dangerfield rolled up stopping with sleepy eyes and asked, “Is this where F3 meets?”. “Yes, go around the stadium to the lot with all the men standing round.” Shut the back to the family 2.0 hauler and haul arse over to the launch. With 30 secs past 5:30 YHC arrived. The terms were set and 10 Burpees to start.

The Thang
Mosey to Tartarus and ‘splain to PAX what to do.
Bear Crawl ramp 1 halfway run to top
Flat, Karaoke left
Crab Walk ramp 2 halfway, backwards run to top
Flat, Karaoke right
AYG to the elevators. Ramp and flat

People’s Chair to wait on the 6 – Little trivia while we sit.

Does anyone know how long Centurion has been an AO? 6 years from Runstopper. DING DING correct. (YHC forgot to ask if PAX knew who started Centurion? He was among us. Escargot)

Mosey down stairs and up to Catholic entrance. Passed by 2 well known areas for downpainment, Front entrance stairs/ramp and patio, on the way to the pedestrian crossing on 51. YHC disclaims the pax in the best way to cross the HWY is via a designated crosswalk. Be safe out there.

Continue to the front of Camel Commons shopping center in front of Amelie’s to stop number two.

Carmel Commons parking lot crossing lines. 17 is the magic number of crosswalks painted all along the front of the mall from Amelie’s to Cabo’s. Run from crosswalk to crosswalk and do descending, from 17, Squats. Mosey over to the Bermuda triangle to plank and wait on the six. More trivia.

Does anyone know the 5 principles of F3? With much mumble and some chatter we got them all out.

  1. Are free of charge
  2. Are open to all men
  3. Are held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
  4. Are led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary
  5. End with a Circle of Trust

Mosey over to stop 3, Planantine Hill, for a Triple Nickel in honor of our incoming Site-Q, Mermaid. 5 Handrelease Merkins at the bottom, Run hill, 5 StarJacks at top, Run hill. Repeato x 5
LBC while we wait on the Six.

Mosey back to Tartarus, observing much caution while crossing 51, for the last stop. Tartarus stairs with a twist. YHC pulled out all the stops for his last Q as Site-Q and brought his vast collection of bricks. Somewhere in excess of 150. I was promptly asked if I had not finished a project. Maybe… But this time the project is move the bricks from here to there. Split into 2 teams, shirts v skins, and move your pile of bricks (2 at a time per pax) from spot 1 up stairs across and downstairs to the new spot next to old spot. Team that moves all the bricks first wins a special prize. My Respect. 🙂

With that ridiculousness over, we deposit all the bricks back into the M’s truck and head back to the launch.

Tour complete, in more ways than one.


It was a yet another pleasant morning in the bowels of A51 land. Centurion is always a bit muggy with it’s proximity to the nearby McMullen creek. To say we sweat would be an understatement as we all looked like we had just gotten out of the pool. Touring the AO was a good way to make sure everyone remembered the various facilities we have access too. It was also a good opportunity to drop some knowledge about the AO and F3 in general. Always a fun time to ask PAX questions when they can’t breathe and think. #crowdpleaser

Lorax led with Snuka (Respect), Brilleux and Margo not far behind. YHC had to leave Centurion with a parting gift in the form of bricks. This time in F3 has allowed me to gather quite a collection of bricks and I brought them all out. The M’s 2.0 hauler was not happy with the rear weight, but to bad the pax needed the training. Brick Race was fun and exhausting. Team Shirts missed the part about just going one floor in the PD and climbed all three. Team Skin respectfully waited to correct them and allow for fair competition. Shirts still won. #rigged

On a personal note, it has been a pleasure serving the Pax of western A51. I am blessed to have moved in order to make more room for our family and have since been very sporadic in my attendance. While living in Steele Creek I have noticed we need to seal the ring of 485  in CLT with AO’s. I plan to move forward with planting some workouts that will serve western CLT. Be on the lookout for future mustard seeds and a friendly EH to help them plant and grow. Thanks to Margo for helping to keep Centurion strong. We can see the fruits of the Site Q’s and loyal PAX labor with new AO’s like Cerebrus and Brave. All born out of the ever growing and starfish splitting model F3 follows. Mermaid will undoubtedly be a fantastic Site Q and help to serve the pax of F3 and grow A51 to reach more #sadclowns and #futureHIMs.

Respectfully, YHC – Udder



Beerrun – The beerrun has come and gone. If you did not attend, you missed out. Fun times fellowshipping with great A51 and SOB pax. Tks Tuck for organizing. Be on the lookout for a late fall edition that will head north from NODA to Central. #beerrun channel on slack

Nicaragua Mission – Currently raising funds to fabricate a metal building for the community – See Escargot

Q slots open at Centurion – see Margo or Mermaid

Quarter Pounder for Breakfast

(Posted on behalf of Thumper)

8 Men woke up early on a Monday morning to start their week off right…even though it was Thumper’s VQ!
Imperial Walker x 10
Low Slow Squats x 10
Anne (Plank w/Arm Circles) x10 each arm
Peter Parker x 10
Parker Peter x 10
Calf Stretch
Jog to an open field at William Davie Park. Insomniac made the wise suggestion to use the artificial turf soccer field…so, a little extra mosey.
The Thang:
Morning breakfast consisted of a Quarter Pounder made up of:
Merkins x 25; Squats x 50; 75 Mountain Climbers; 100 SSH. Sprint to the respective ‘yard line’, do exercise, backpedal back to start.
Mosey down the hill to find a rock and partner up.
Partner (w/Rock): Curl, Press, Tri-extension.
Partner (no Rock): Run to soccer stands and perform exercise. Round (1) – 10 decline merkins; (2) – 10 Step-ups each leg…Compliance might need to find another occupation as he did 10 total..Round (3) – 20 Dips.
Attempted to do pull-ups on swing sets (Sardine constantly bitching about no pullups at this AO) but morning rain made bar slippery…Chalk it up to Thumper’s VQ.
Mosey back to Base Camp. Carioca on field; Plank along the way for PAX to gather.
Not-so-Lazy Boy (middle, right, middle, left, middle ~ 10 sec each)
LBCs x 20
The End
Convergence – Labor Day
Crane Relay – Oct 26th
Paint Ball – Sept. 15
Sardine VQ next week
Thanks to Smash for taking us out!

Everybody’s Special

Around the world
Figure 8s

Swinging around the school
Carry the ‘bell around the school stopping at each corner for 20 swing
C1 – 2-handed
C2 – 10R / 10L
C3 – Alternating
C4 – American

OCR training
Cross the monkey bars
10 Knee-ups
run to other jungle gym for 5 pull-ups
repeat five times

Inch Worm, ‘Merican + Squat ladder
Descend into inchworm do 10 ‘Mericans, reverse the ‘worm, grab your ‘bell for 10 goblet squats
Continue the ladder with 9 ‘Mericans and 9 squats until you reach 1 and 1

Squat Side Slide
Pick up your bell, goblet squat, laterally step to the right until you reach middle of the lane.
Turn and reverse

Bear crawl, Skull Crusher + Bridge ladder
10 skull crushers, 10 weighted bridges then bear crawl to the curb and run back
Continue with 9 skull crusher and 9 weighted bridges until you reach 1 and 1.

10 Snatches each side

10 weighted sit-ups, 10 Dolly w/KB
9 weighted sit-ups, 10 Freddy Mercury w/ KB
8 weighted sit-ups, 10 Rosalita w/KB
7 weighted sit-ups, 10 Flutter w/KB

We had a pretty “special” crew today

I didn’t get much sleep.
Cobbler was late, even though he was there 30 minutes early to pre-run
General was injured in a freak dog walking incident
Frehley can’t use one arm
Mighty was still feeling Saturday
Technically, One-Niner was healthy, but he forgot his bell. (General had an extra.)

That said, we all made it out and did the best we could. That’s the best anyone can do.

New Strava Segment … Banzai Burnout

Actual Slack conversation, secretly recorded by Omarosa, and documented in her new book “Unhinged”. Buy it now, before it goes on sale. Be one of the first and only to pay regular price.

Poptart: “You’re good to Q the Matrix Monday? You are on the schedule.”

Tolkien: “Litto Engrish. Me no werkout toomach now big boi.”

Poptart: “Be there, and make sure you signup for paintball…. we have 30 guys signed up so far, spots are limited.”

Tolkien: “Banzai!!!”

The rest is history. Hey, when you havent Q’d a workout for exactly 4 months #TRUTH, the backblasts are as terrible as the lead. Will improve next time. 12 men showed up to the Matrix and got something a little different, in the form of covering new ground South of the AO.  With BRR approaching quickly, and the fact that YHC “muscles” haven’t been used for months, the goal was to focus a little more on the running… but of course, anyone doing the BRR would have just gone to Horsey McHorse, but whatever.   Overall 3 miles were covered, intercostal muscles were stretched (thanks to the therapeutic stretchy green bands YHC brought) and everyone got a little bit of hillwork in on a new segment, which shall be called “Banzai Burnout on Strava” forevermore, a .18mile 7% grade hill in the lush darkness of Chestnut Hill Estates. Lots of records set, well, because it’s a new segment mostly (Rachel wasn’t there).  King Of The Hill went to the determined Ocho Cinco, YHC took 1st place in the Mongol Category, and age-adjusted McGee got last… dead last #WAMRAP . We went up the hill a couple of times, and then ended with a brutal backwards run up, before heading back to the AO.  Luckily noone got schmacked and shalacked by a Mack Truck on the death stretch of running to the hill. But, hey a disclaimer was given so #clearconscienceifdeathoccurred .

Everyone put in a solid effort this morning, and thanks Smoky for the takeout in COT. For some fun Monday inspiration for the naming of the hill segment, watch this from F3-Dads Camp.  Honored to be given the reigns to lead this morning fellas. Have a great week.

Banzai Toast to New Segment ‘Banzai Burnout’

Tolkien’s Corner

Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, checkups, smack talk, and support for much of this year while I’ve been dealing with auto-immune issues. Please let me know if I can pay it back, and will certainly be looking to pay it forward.  As mentioned in COT, challenging you all to reach out to someone injured or just needs some encouragement.  Little things like a few words, or a text message, go a long way.

Also challenging you all to commit the mission of F3 to memory, particularly if you are a regular… we workout so our bodies are prepared in situations where we are called upon to act and lead.  Looking like Kid Rock is nice, but that’s not the ultimate purpose.  He’d even tell you that.

The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve, small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.


  • Several SPEED FOR NEED races coming up to round out 2018.  Encouraging all of you to participate in just 1 to see what it’s all about.  Gypsy is your A51/SOB/UC SFN Q so reach out to him if you want to get involved somehow. We would love your leadership.
    • 9/29 Isabella Santos 5k/10k in Ballanyne (marquee SOB race… 60+ F3 Pax in 2017)
    • 10/6 Susan G Komen Race For the Cure 5K Walk in Uptown (very powerful service opportunity to push breast cancer fighters to the finish among 15,000 people)
    • 11/10 Let Them Soar 5K in Matthews (Tackling Dummy heavily involved in foundation)


JRR Tolkien

Covered In Glitter at 6am

27 Men woke up early on a Monday morning for some running, merkins, squats, and…glitter.


F2 Pace warm up lap towards front of school with abrupt return to start to pick up Jingles (back on regular schedule) and Frack.

SSH x 20

IW x 15

Jimmy Dugan (Frack said he needed a good stretch)

Merkins x 15

Low Slow Squats x 15

Mosey to long path

The Thang:

5 Merkins at each light all the way to Transporter’s office

Speedsters Circle back for the 6

Mosey towards football field 5 Merkins at each light pole (approximately 7 additional light poles)

At base of hill, gather up for an extended Triple Nickel. 3 Exercises 5 Times.

10 Squats at bottom of hill/run up/5 burpees at top and return to bottom. Do this 5 times

Mary while waiting for groups to finish

Mosey to alcove/portico on the side of the high school. Partner up.

Partner 1 runs down sidewalk and across street and back / Partner 2 does Mike Tysons – Did this 2x. It was also here most of us got to roll around in a little glitter. If the M asks how you were covered in glitter at 6am, just blame me (Deflated’s suggestion)

Mosey back towards front of school. 7 light poles x 10 squats at each light pole

Partner up again and form 2 lines for a relay race (time kill)

Sprint to first light and back. I think it wound up a tie

The End


Great work today guys. To nobody’s surprise, Hollywood set the pace with Halfback close behind. There was a little banter but nothing over the top. Really impressive showing by Akbar…especially on that Triple Nickel. Good work, man! YHC also received Rubbermaid’s “Fogged Windows Q Seal of Approval” as I couldn’t even see his eyes during Name-O-Rama! To fog the windows like that requires some digging. You really pushed it today, great job!


Crane Relay – see Posse

Sanctuary tonight at Brooklyn Pizza

Shepherd on Q Watchtower tomorrow

YHC took us out



I Love Lamp

15 PAX showed up to Impromptu since most of us had no desire to either drive to Waverly or we thought there would be 50 people there for Dredd’s celebrity Q.  For a change of pace, I thought I would try a version of Hollywoods non-stop workouts, only at a Clydesdale pace because, lets face it, I am not ever going to be as fast as Hollywood.


Short Lap around the parking lot directly into the workout.

  • A different Exercise at every lamp
  • The exercise began when you got to the lamp
  • The count didn’t begin until the six began to count

The Thang- Really Just the List of All Exercises- to 20X

  • Side Straddle Hop
  • Low Slow Squats
  • Plank Jack
  • Mountain Climbers
  • Merkins
  • Dry Docks
  • Imperial Walker
  • Imperial Squaker
  • LBC’s
  • Toe Tap LBC’s
  • Scorpion Dry Docks
  • Squats
  • Deep Squats
  • Merkins
  • Merkins with your feet on the curb
  • Peter Parkers
  • Parker Peters
  • Plank Rotations

Let’s Face it, there were a lot of light posts between the start and the bleachers near the baseball field.

The Final Thangs

  • 60 dips on the baseball field bleachers
  • Run to the rock pile at the high school, avoid the snakes
    • Find a lifting rock
    • Cycle doing 40, 30, 20, and 10 curls
  • Mosey to the upper parking lot
    • Line up across the parking area.
    • Bear Crawl to the light, stopping at each line for a Merkin
  • Mosey to the Benches
    • Partner Up
    • One partner does Derkins while the other runs to the school
    • Repeat two times
  • Mosey to the stairs
    • 10 in, 10 out, 10 normal calf raises
    • Repeat Twice
  • Run back to the beginning


The workout was a little crazy.  I stole the title from Zinfandel because it was just awesome and made me laugh.  To be honest, I almost made myself sick pushing the front of the Pax through such a chaotic, fast pace.  I had a lot of fun trying something different.  Thanks to everyone for bearing with it and the humor that always ensues.  I hope you enjoyed your weekend.


  • Thank you to everyone for your help in moving Lynn Marie.  Their new home is setup and it is awesome to see to so many helping her out on Saturday.

Epsilon 2nd Que

It was a Great morning out at Commitment. Great weather and an amazing breeze. Big Ten decided to show not knowing it was an hour workout.

My Thing:

  • Run to parking lot with speed bumps – did a quick warm-up and the pain started right away
  • Ran through the whole parking lot and did 5 jump squats at each speed bump. After this we did the cheddar shredder which most of the people didn’t like. We ran through the parking lot twice more doing 10 squats and 10 lunges at each speed bump, also doing the cheddar shredder at each one.
  • We ended up staying in the same spot and everybody grab a rock. We got in a circle and everybody did 10 bicep curls at each rock. What was good was that each rock was a different size so it either got easier or harder. ‘
  • Next we ran over to Transporters House/The bathrooms near the track and did Jack Webs with 1 Donkey Kick and 4 wall sit shoulder presses.
  • After that we ran to the big brick pile and everybody grabbed to bricks except the 2.0’s. We did 4 different weight lifting exercises and I decided that “I” needed a break.
  • We ran to the small bleachers ran those and came straight back to the Brick pile.
  • After we did the same thing we did earlier we ran back to the start while Damascus waited on bread bowl to finish with the bathroom.
  • We did LBC’s until Damascus came back and that was it.


Frack was surprised that he was in the front most of the time. I guess that’s what happens when you work out with a bunch of Clydesdale’s. My dad, Delta, ended up just being a Chauffeur this morning. Drove me to the workout slept in the truck and drove me back. He was sick so I let him do that. Big Ten actually stayed for the whole workout even though he didn’t know it was an hour. Of course he had to leave right after.

Almost 2 years

YHC pulled into the lot and had a feeling would be light crew given vacation time. Slowly a few cars arrived to participate in a moderate workout. After a quick disclaimer, we were off…..

Warm up
2 Lap around the track
15 Imperial Walker
10 Merkins
10 Low Slow Squats

The Thang

1. Run across street to church
Pick a rock
3 rounds-
15 Bicep Curls
15 Shoulder Presses
10 Tricep Extensions

2. Run down Olde Providence toward Harris Teeter
Stop at every light pole or electrical pole, 5 Merkins
Continue toward the Walgreens parking lot for some Mary
Freddy Mercury
Run back toward Olde Providence Elementary
Stop at again at light pole or electrical pole, 5 Squats

3. Circle Up for some Mary at launch
Freddy Mercury
Baby LBCs

4. Shoulder Work (benches under the oak tree near bus lot)
Round 1
Dips x 15
Durkins x 15
Round 2
Step Ups x 10
Incline Merkins x 10

5. Mosey back to the school parking lot with for the Starfish
Middle: 5 Jump Squats
Corner 1: 15 Carolina Dry Docks
Corner 2: 15 LBCs
Corner 3: 10 Lunges
Corner 4: 15 Wide-arm Merkins

6. Mosey over to the Playground for 2 rounds of the following
Pullups – 10
Merkins- 10
Step Ups – 10

7. Go to the field for 2 rounds of:

1. Bear Crawl -1/2 way
2. Lunge Walk ½ way

Time to finish off by grabbing some wall for the People Chair with 50 back stretches


It was my 2 year anniversary today from where it all started F3 here at Ascent (exact date 8/20/2016). My fitness has definitely improved, have developed relationships F3 brothers and most recently became site Q at Ascent. Thank you to the Area 51 brothers for your support and fellowship. Lorenzo pulled into the parking lot with his neon orange shorts today and certainty brought it today, strong showing. Lorenzo lunge walk form was also impressive almost to the point he was measuring the field. Great to see my friend Drano today, he’s been a warrior as posted every day this week. Preacher from Knoxville joined us today while in town to visit his brother this week in Charlotte and wanted to get his F3 money’s worth. Thank you Preacher for nice send off.


Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

YHC arrived a little early to the Outland AO after working on the menu of pain for the morning.

A disclaimer was given and we circled up for some COP. SSH and Imperial Walkers seemed creative.

Afterwards, we partnered up. Size and speed did not matter (according to YHC). However, the size of the bell did. We began with a catch me if you can and began a journey to the Elementary School track. After a brief consult with the extremely caring Hairband there was a break halfway through filled with some Mary to allow the PAX to catch up. Upon arrival to the track, the PAX were presented with a board of pain. The following were the exercises listed:
Goblet Squat
Shoulder Press

The mission for the morning was to do 10 of each exercise. So, 10 Louganis and run a lap. Then 10 Louganis, 10 Cleans and run a lap. Followed by 10 Louganis, 10 Cleans, 10 Deadlifts and run a lap. I think you get the drift. We got through the lunges and partnered back up for our journey back to the cars.

Mole, mole…
Having never Qed at Outland before, I was overly ambitious and drove the PAX pretty hard. I must admit they responded well. I haven’t seen Burnacky all summer. It was good to see him back in action. Edison was a hard working beast. Hairband was the conscience of YHC and helped me adjust appropriately and even challenged my modification of the Clean. Who knew he was part of the form police too?! It was good to see Bullwinkle after he ditched us a few Saturdays ago when he was a “no show Q.” Wonderful to hear the good report about DT’s mom!