Monthly Archive July 2018

Triskaidekaphobia / phasmophobia

My arms are so sore after the workout this morning that I just banged my head on the keyboard to title this backblast.

Triskaidekaphobia is actually fear of Friday the 13th, which happens to be today and phasmophobia is the fear of ghosts. 10 of Union County’s strongest men proved that they aren’t afraid of Friday the 13th (or ghosts).

This was a last minute Q. I was asked yesterday if I would like to step up and Q. I hadn’t thought about it and didn’t have anything planned. Sure I’ll take it. What could go wrong? It’s kettlebells and 45 minutes.


If you know me, I’m not a fan of running. Since I’m calling the shots today, it will be a 0.0. That’s right exactly zero running. If I wanted to run, I would go to Fast Goat or Mountain Twitch…whatever those silly running workouts are called. I have no interest in running the Appalachian Trail while crammed in a 15 passenger van with other sweaty idiots.

I was trying to play on the Friday the 13th theme and had to stretch for this one. I need a song that had some repetition in it so I went with the theme from Ghostbusters. If you’re reading this you should know it. If you don’t or if you want to have a song stuck in your head for the rest of the day you can listen. (Not sorry if that’s in your head all day). Every time you hear “ghost” do a burpee. The first half of the song we were doing side straddle hops in between “ghosts”. The second half of the song we did arm circles in between “ghosts”

Enough warm-up. Time for the real fun to begin


This was a simple workout. Simple does NOT mean easy. It’s basically 2 exercises. Simple right?

Round 1

  • 5 swings R / 5 swings L x 10 sets
  • 5 cleans R / 5 cleans L x 10 sets

Round 2

  • 10 swings R / 10 swings L x 4 sets
  • 10 cleans R / 10 cleans L x 4 sets

Round 3

  • 15 swings R / 15 swings L x 2 sets
  • 15 cleans R / 15 cleans L x 2 sets
  • 15 Merkins with right hand on bell / 15 Merkins with left hand on bell

Round 4

  • 20 swings R / 20 swings L x 1 set
  • 20 cleans R / 20 cleans L x 1 set
  • 10 Merkins with right hand on bell / 10 Merkins with left hand on bell


  • Flutter press WITH bell in cadence x 13 (I had to keep the theme alive)
  • American Hammer WITH bell in cadence x 13
  • Freddie Mercuries WITHOUT bell in cadence x 13

That’s it gentlemen. Shout out to Snookie for taking us out.


  • Hairband is possibly working on another shirt order with more colors. Check out some of the colors that another region had (including CAMO Stay tuned to the social media outlets for more information
  • Prayers for Glass Joe’s wife as she is having surgery on the 24th.
  • Prayers for Bullwinkle’s mom as she also has an upcoming surgery. I don’t know if he announced the date or if I just missed it.
  • If you’re reading this, sign up to Q a workout.
  • Speaking of Q, YHC will also be on Q Tuesday at Thrive. I hope to see you there. It will be fun.


  • Hair band and Shepard spent a lot of their work out planning their romantic evening together and little time moving bells. I can’t wait to hear the juicy details! It was good to see Shepard back at a KB workout. Hopefully you’ll come back more often and weren’t scared away by today’s workout
  • Snookie and Hoffa also spent a lot of their work out mumbling. It looked like a seen from Grumpy Old Men. I’m not sure which was Jack Lemmon and who was Walter Matthau. I can’t give them too much of a hard time. Both are in the double respect club. I only I hope I can be half as active as these sexagenarians are.
  • Jaberwocky – I’m sorry I interrupted your sleep schedule. Those yawns were contagious.
  • Edison – I don’t know if I heard 5 words come out of your mouth today. Way to keep your head down and get the work done.
  • Woody – Was this a “bucket of suck”?
  • Bullwinkle and Glass Joe were relatively quiet. Good job today gentlemen
  • As I wrote the workout yesterday I knew it was a terrible idea. It was much worse in real life than on paper. It will be difficult to do anything above shoulder level today. You’re welcome.


Dual Substi-Q Leg Day

I had warned some of my new Briarcrest Pax that they were going to get a certain body part handed to them this morning with Dasher on Q.  When asked how hard I said “well, when we do box jumps he jumps on top of the pick nick table instead of the seat”.  That seamed to be enough to get my point across.  We pull in fairly early at 6:25 to a few pax under the light pole, but no Dasher.  In my head I thought “He must be out getting 10 miles in before hand.  6:29….no Dasher.  A pax asked who’s on Q and I advised of Dasher.  There was an audible grown from several.  We start trying to figure out who will Substi-Q in case Dasher is a no show.  Having heard of the Doc McStuffin beat down on Wednesday mixed with 500 merkins at the Floater, I quickly decided to volunteer so that we could keep the chest workout to a minimum.  Almost in unison Mad Dog also jumped in so it was determined a dual Substi-Q would occur.  6:31…no Dasher…lets go.


Lap around the parking lot to the front of the school.  Car coming in on two wheels.  Could it be Dasher….Mad Dog says no….keep going.

  • 25 Side Straddle Hops
  • 15 Mountain Climbers
  • 15 Peter Parkers
  • 15 Parker Peters
  • 25 LBC’s
  • 15 Mountain Climbers


  • Partner up.  Partner 1 Step Up, Partner 2 run the loop.  200 step ups as a team.  Mary when finished.
  • On your own: 40 foot release squats on a bench, 40 dips.  Mary when finished
  • Partner up.  Partner Inch worm (no merkin) around front middle school loop.  Partner 2 run the loop and come back to relieve your partner.  I had hoped to get 3/4 way around the loop before calling it.  I apparently was a little ambitious on that goal.  We got 1/4 of the way around the loop and I decided it was Mad Dog’s turn.
  • Lt. Dan’s.  Apparently Mad Dog learned something new during his spring vacation to Hilton Head Island.  In a circle, first person does 1 squat and 4 reverse lunges.  To the left second person does 2 squats and 8 lunges (jack webb counting).  Thank God my prayer was answered and at 10 squats Mad Dog audible and we started going back down the ladder.  Paper Jam was next to last with me (Fuse Box) begin the last Pax.   Paper Jam called out a modify (Yay!) to do Bobby Hurley’s instead of squats….wait, that’s not a modify….that’s harder.  So in an attempt to out (Fill in your favorite word here) him, I decided we would jump squat and jump lunge to close out the Lt. Dan’s.  Your welcome everyone.
  • Mosey to starting parking lot for light pole suicides
  • Closed it out with flutters and heels to heaven.


  • Good tag team Q today…though I went over my time allotment.
  • I wanted to make sure we kept moving to get some running in since both Wed and Thursday workouts were low on running.  Surprisingly we ran a lot (a lot in Clydesdale terms) while getting no further than the front of the middle school.
  • I also wanted to keep it leg heavy with so much chest.  I believe that also was accomplished.
  • Good to see Paper Jam out two days in a row with us WUC folks.  I imagine he is a short timer with us doing the Journeyman, but he has been a great addition lately.  Surprised to hear he is 49 in the name-o-rama.  Had him pegged a little younger.
  • Nice back to back showings from Banjo.  The former Cross Fitter has jumped in nicely with the group.  Will be interested to hear his comparisons in workouts and conditioning after he has a few weeks under his belt.  I would assume Crossfit is more weights (obviously since all we have is rocks), but I would suspect we get a better total body workout including more cardio…..I may be wrong.  Either way, I still despise cross fit.  I think it has a higher injury risk than other workouts and the women that do it look like men after a year (I do not apologize to the wives who take cross fit).
  • FNG Might Mo made it out (Beckham’s 2.0).  This is the first pax I have paid to come out.  Lil man has started his own business pressure washing trash cans and other pressure washing jobs.  He made enough money last year to pay is way out to Hawaii to see Pear Harbor so you gotta respect that.  If I remember correct, he has a goal of joining the Navy (I may be mis-remembering but I swear it was the Navy) so we need to get him out to a Saturday workout to meet up with Delta and Popeye.
  • I just recently found out that Akbar got his name from a Star Wars character instead of the Allah Akbar.  I’ve been going on the assumption that F3 was full of savages for 9 months now and had been using that savageness to go hard on my FNG name recommendations.   Whoops!  Good work today Akbar.  Listen out for my kids screaming your name every time we pass your house.  It some how has become a think in our family now…not sure why.
  • Halfway through the beat down I asked Easy Button if I could press him to help me get through the rest of the workout.  I got a half smile out of him before he hit the after burners and left me in his dust.  Good seeing you out and great addition to the group.
  • The rest of you….good job…tired of typing and I’m not calling out 15 pax.


  • Pray for the 18 year old from 5 Stones who went down with a heart attack in Minnesota earlier this week.  Anvil brought to our attention on Thursday.  No update.  I believe his name was Austin.
  • Shop Dawg is leading a pallet sanding party for the Sand Box next Saturday (July 21st).  Get with Shop for more details.  I believe it will be 3-4 hours of sanding pallets in order to make pallet furniture.


That Sounds Like It Sucks

Today was the 2nd half of the Rebel Yell/The Arsenal convergence, after RY made the trek to Indian Land a few weeks back for cheap gas it was our turn to head north here’s what we did.


Mosey past the theatre, perform a variety of warmup type exercises, get chastised by Fire Hazard for doing two rounds of merkins.

The Thang:

Head to the loading dock area behind Harris Teeter.  At each speedbump do merkins and squats, start at 5 each and increase by 1 at each speed bump.

Mary until the six (YHC) arrives.

Next  exercise was Burpback Mountain, at the suggestion of Doc McStuffins we used the closer, larger, steeper hill.  For those of you that haven’t had the pleasure, its as awesome as it sounds.

Partner 1: Burpee

Partner 2: Run up hill and back to Partner 1, flapjack until 100 total burpees completed

Next up was Bear 1-2-3, Bearcrawls with 100 Merkins – 200 LBC – 300 squats

Partner 1: Bear crawl to the called distance and jog back

Partner 2: Work on the counting exercises, flapjack until all 3 exercises complete

Back to the speedbumps for Carolina Dry Docks starting at 5 and increase by 1 at each successive bump.

Mary until six is in.

Mosey to the back of the cinema.

Wall sits with 25 air presses, run up the hill, wall sits with 20 air presses,

Mosey back to launch

50 calf raises on curb, finish with 10 x Chippy Cross


Not a whole lot other than War Eagle giving us the title for the BB when Burpback Mountain was called.


Great work by the PAX, not easy workout, everything hurts right now.

Thanks to General, Doc McStuffins, Ringer among others for leading Mary while waiting on us slow folks.

Mary Kay and Billygoat, thanks for having us up and letting me lead.


Erector farewell Q at Blackhawk this Saturday, 0600 Trail run (bring headlamp) 0630 Main Event followed by breakfast at Cruisn Ruebenz.  Worth the trip to say goodbye to Erector he will certainly be missed.

Rebel Yell Q schedule is open, help out Billygoat and Mary Kay and pick a date.

Welcome to Happy Meal relocating from Raleigh





Evelyn’s Rock

A solid 24 gathered for #F3Hydra. Here’s what we accomplished:

The Thang

After brief but heartfelt disclaimer, we launched from the usual parking area, turning left onto Rea Road but then moseying to empty lot on the right side of OPES. We circled up for YHC’s usual COP:

  • IWs x 10IC
  • MCs x 10IC’
  • Merkins x 10 IC
  • LSS x 10IC

From there we ran across Rea Road to the rock pile at the church. Find a partner and one of you grab a lifting rock. Some went pretty ambitious on the rock choice while others grabbed the equivalent of one of those pink barbells with the handles. Instructions were given for Partner 1 to run to the church entrance off Edenbridge for 10 Merkins and then run back. Partner B was to rotate through 10 Curls, 10 Tricep Presses and 10 Shoulder Presses with the rock. Flapjack until each partner had gone 5 times and completed 50 Merkins.

We returned our rocks and moseyed out of the lot, turning left onto Edenbridge and then right onto Windyrush Rd to the bottom of Evelyn’s Hill, named for Evelyn’s Rock. Evelyn’s Rock is at the driveway at the bottom of the hill and is marked with a nice plaque. At the bottom of the hill, Partner 1 did alternating lunges while Partner B ran to the top for 5 jump squats before running back. Flapjack until each partner had gone 3 times.

After that, we ran back up Evelyn’s Hill and turned left onto Edenbridge, across Rea and over the SCRA Patriots Mighty Mites practice field for a little Mary after some Plank-o-rama:

  • LBCs x 20IC
  • Straight Leg Lifts x 20IC
  • Toe Tap Crunches x 20IC
  • Flutter Kicks x 20IC

We killed off the remaining time with 5 AYG sprints back and forth across the field and then 10 burpees OYO. From there, we moseyed back to the parking lot for COT.


YHC left home without his watch. That meant YHC was dependent on someone else to keep track of time. Van Pelt, back in for the morning from Winston, stepped up. More importantly, it meant no Strava record of the miles. HIPAA stepped up there and shared his post with me, which made me look fast.

Lots of complaints right from the start about having to do Merkins on that right side lot. It is terrible and very different from the lots at Calvary and Latin. Funds for the Lord and the privileged just go farther than our tax dollar allotments for the public schools. #Blessed

Instructions were to pick a lifting rock from the pile beside the church. Most went respectable. Stagecoach tried to go small since his partner was the soccer-armed runner Curd but once unearthed, they pretty much had a boulder. Curd did about 7 curls over the course of his five sets. Coach cracked the lot throwing down the rock each time.

Got some Hydra history this morning learning that the Windyrush hill was named Evelyn’s Hill, because of Evelyn’s Rock. It’s a huge rock in the driveway at the bottom of the hill. Marked with nice plaque. Don’t know who Evelyn is…maybe a devoted wife and mother…maybe a loyal Golden Retriever. Also, not sure if the Rock is just a monument or if it serves as a headstone, but hopefully it’s the former. Did notice that Marge and Revlon kept going over the rub the rock before each trip up the hill…looked like they were also looking for a place to drop in their #DaboAllIn chip as well.

A little Mary in the grass is always a good thing, even if YHC lost all coordination in take 1 of the Toe Tap Crunches.

All the men pushed hard out there this morning. #F3Hydra has a solid group and fun culture. Thanks to Marge and Queen for allowing me to fill in for @IronHorseF3, who no longer posts in Mecklenburg County since he married a country girl from the UC. YHC tried his best to make up for IH’s absence, as we did a decent amount Merkins although there was no Merkin Ladder. Also, YHC only owns 7″ inseam shorts, and for that the Pax were thankful.

Welcome to FNG French Vanilla, who came with Creamer. It took us a while to get there but we finally named him. Gummy still wasn’t happy and texted YHC some ideas afterwards. Too late, the Pax have spoken.


  • Curd with a self-serving advertisement about a Crowder’s run Saturday. Think he just needs a ride. Or is recruiting for his BRR team.


Vibrating Alarm Clock

My FitBit band recently broke while playing basketball, leaving me with, well, only the middle “bit”. I use the vibrating alarm feature to wake me up so I don’t wake up the whole house.


It’s set to 3 times –  4:45am, 4:47am and 4:50am. There is a backup alarm on my phone set for 5am. With only the “bit” I had been putting the piece into my underwear at night and hoping that it would wake me up (where else would it stay close to my body?). This morning it didn’t and my back up phone alarm had to wake me. Either the feeling in my pants was too enjoyable to get up or I’m losing feeling down there – regardless, I’m excited that my new FitBit band is coming in the mail today. My wife is starting to get jealous.


The PAX enjoyed that story when I shared it this morning – also, for some reason no one would shake my hand at the end of the workout.


The Thingy…

7 of us took off and headed for the Library


Warmup – calf raises, lunges on stairs to library


Circle up on concrete bench and partner up  

P1 – Run around Library

P2- Dips, Derkins and Step ups

Run lap 2 together

Flapjack for lap 3

Round 2 – same thing but P2 does Situps, Incline Merkins and Step Ups.


4 Corners – .5 mile loop from Seaboard, down train tracks, back around to downtown Matthews

Round 1 – 5, 10, 15, 20 jump squats at each corner

Round 2 – run .5 mile loop, no stops


Increasing Merkins at each light post down to John St. – 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 – real burn here.


Over to Freemont St – 10 power planks, 10 mtn. climbers at each light post (5 or 6 total) to stop sign.


Run over to Jefferson St. Loop 

P1 – Runs Loop

P2 – Lunges forward until P1 relieves him


Run over to Freemont St. through my garden – had log coupons in my front yard

Choose a heavy log – 20 shoulder presses, run up to the stop sign 3x.


Run to Greenway – on your own run through the greenway, through the wooden trail and meet up with Peak 51 at Matthews Elementary.


4.7 miles and we’re done. 




Lots of sweat and almost no talking today after we got done with the first 4 corners.


Animals were aplenty this morning as we ran into some deer, rabbit and a very recently dead squirrel.


The entire PAX was within 50  yards of each other this morning. We had a good pace and a lot of strength stops mixed in – getting 4.7 was pretty good all things considered but I hoped for 5 – next time for sure.


The Jefferson St. loop was not only a great hilly road but also has the oldest kiln in Mecklenburg County residing on it – it’s a huge piece of crap.


Thurston is changing jobs and moving to Durham soon – he’ll surely be doing F3 when he gets there but best wishes to him and his family. He’s been a regular for a while and we’ll definitely miss having him in A51.


Gypsy was touting a new SFN bike race – I was messing with my phone when he was talking so ask him for more details.


Check out the entire route we did on “Relive” which is an app that does an aerial view of the workout. I’ll try to post it to Twitter.


Sparta is turning into one of my favorite AOs and I can’t think of a better place to run – well-lit, small town, almost no traffic, hills a plenty.


After 4 days of running my nipples are turning into raw meat…between that and my vibrating alarm clock in my pants I’m pretty sure this post may get flagged.


Good work today fellas – awesome push on a muggy day.


Out – Whip

If You Squeeze My Lizard, I’ll Put My Snake On You

Believe it or not, today was YHC’s first Q opportunity at Meathead.  Thursdays are typically reserved for the M’s early morning workout in the Shuffle household so the opportunity to post and/or Q on a Thursday is a rare treat.  Therefore, YHC tried to make today less of a substitute teacher in middle school type event and more the “A Very Special Episode Of” (insert your favorite sitcom from childhood) variety.  After firing up the dusty old Amazon BT1 Bluetooth speaker and loading the carefully curated playlist, we began to stand in a circle and sling iron.


20 Swings OYO, 10 Merkins IC, 20 Swings OYO, 10 Mountain Climbers IC, 20 Swings OYO, 20 LBC IC, 20 Swings OYO, 10 Plank Jacks IC, 20 Swings OYO.  That’s 100 swings to start out the morning, which set the tone for things to come.

Rock Block 1:

While the majestic sounds of rock and roll songs from the 1970s through the 2010s washed over us like warm Gulf waters, we started the first block of exercises consisting of Swings, Renegade Rows Left, Renegade Rows Right, Good Mornings, and Weighed Crunches.  Each round was 10 reps of each exercise, and 5 rounds made up a block.

Rock Block 2:

Same format, some different exercises.  Swings, Sots Press Left, Sots Press Right (had to pause for the applause to die down), Sumo High Pull, and Weighted Crunch for 5 rounds of 10 reps each.

Rock Block 3:

This block was made up of Swings, Overhead Squat Left, Overhead Squat Right (more applause, some huzzahs and various cheers, the adoration was borderline embarrassing at this point), Triceps Extensions, Weighted Crunches for 5 rounds of 10 reps each.  At this point the swing counter was up to 250.

The Perfect Pair:

Time was beginning to wane, so an additional Rock Block could not be properly accommodated, which was fine because the PAX would have most likely begun throwing rose petals as YHC’s feet like the King of Zamunda in Coming to America and that would’ve been a bit over the top.  The perfect pair is the Kettlebell Swing and the Merkin, so we did sets of 20, 15, 10, and 5 of each.  The swing counter was up to 300 by now.

The Finisher:

To cap off the morning’s session, YHC called for 100 Swings.  Fortunately, everyone kept a firm grip on his kettlebell so as not to accidentally (purposefully) fling a bell at the Q’s head.  YHC does not like to incorporate hyperbole into backblasts, but majestic would certainly be a fair word to use to describe this morning’s workout.


Mumblechatter was quite low today, instead the PAX went about their business in a quiet reverence of the kettlebell cathedral that is an elementary school parking lot in Matthews.  Mall Cop wore a CrossFit shirt to an F3 workout, so that’s something.  #OurWarmupIsYourWorkOut  #SweetNikeMetConsBro

Other nuggets of knowledge learned today were that Montrose was the band Sammy Hagar sang for before his stints as a solo artist and with Van Halen, and that Living Color was fronted by the son of the actor from the Lethal Weapon movies who is not Mel Gibson but the other guy.  Regarding the title of this backblast, it is the first line from one of the songs on the playlist, Motorhead’s “Killed by Death” and is one of the finest opening lyrics ever penned.  Other selections included Halestorm’s “Still of the Night”, Montrose “Rock Candy”, Metallica “Hit the Lights”, Living Color “Cult of Personality”, Shinedown “Sound of Madness”, Sick Puppies “Maybe”, Saliva “Your Disease”, The Black Crowes “Twice as Hard” and Volbeat’s “Heaven Nor Hell”.   If you’ll allow me a brief aside: Music can provide a glimpse as to where a society is culturally at any given moment.  When future citizens of this planet look back upon American history, they will probably surmise that in the 1970s people did a lot of rambling (much like the tone of this backblast) and rolling down highways, and that gypsy queens from New Or-leens were a great scourge upon the land.  When they look back at the current decade they will see a fractured society splintered between factions of people who spend their time putting pop in their country, with the tailgates down while sipping on cinnamon flavored low proof whiskey, and those who believe that viable music can be produced by pushing buttons on a computer, pointing skyward, and shouting his or her name, then random phrases that make little to no sense.  #WeDaBest #DJWhateverThatSuperAnnoyingFatGuy’sNameIs

There were no announcements at COT but we can surmise that there is probably a  Speed for Need race coming up, and High Tide probably has a discount code for Nuun tablets.  That is all, enjoy your day.

Muggy Merkin Marathon

14 PAX met near the water tower for an extremely simple beat down.  Keeping the running to a minimum, the complaining was still evident but good natured.

Warm-up near the Tack Exchange – Disclaimer and Introduction with apology to those who attended Doc’s Jack Webb beating. 

  • 20 SSH IC
  • 20 Potato Pickers IC
  • 20 Imperial Walkers IC
  • 20 Moroccan Night Clubs IC

The Thang:

  • Hit the next Block as we mosey to the school.
  • 5 T Merkins at Each Mailbox to get the blood flowing
  • Up to the Basketball courts near the school to Partner up.


Combine with your Partner – 100 Crab Cakes, 200 Scorpion Dry Docks, 300 LBCs, 400 Plank Jacks and 500 Merkins – while partner runs to other end of the court to complete 10 Squats

  •  Final Mosey to the start to wrap up, with Flutter pit stops.


 A very impressive and hard working group all around even as the Merkins got very sloppy towards the end with many teams not quite hitting the 500 but getting very close.  Several rounds of exercises were done til failure, and the partner was there to pick them up and switch off.

Shout out Doughboy, Maple Syrup, Rubbermaid and Big10 who endured the day after experiencing Doc’s own Jack Webb Hell yesterday.  But all of them still powered through with all they had.

My partner Shake ‘n’ Bake was the man as no Form police will ever catch him not up to snuff cranking out each exercise precisely.

Beckham, Paper Jam, Dana, and Fuse (towel in hand) put it all out there with minimal complaints and just a few jabs.   Nice job powering though.

Anvil, extremely impressed with Iron and Ore.  Nice job, always good to see the 2.0s participating while Ore was running around most of us like we were standing still

Banjo – Nice to meet you sir and good job enduring a tough workout.  Thank you for making Floater your first official workout as we look forward to seeing you again.

Lastly, absolute favorite part was in the middle of squats when Rubbermaid stopped, turned to me and told me that I suck.   At the moment, I agreed with him.


  • FNG Ben Carson – previously from the Mountains of WV, likes beer.  He is a Dude.  Accepted the name Banjo.  Hopefully he returns.
  • Sandlot Pallet project with Shop Dog – please connect with him if you are interested.
  • COTS (Church on the Streets) Sign Up happening. Please look on GroupMe.

Wrap up and Prayer:

 Doughboy took us out with a special mention of Austin (18-year-old, who recently suffered a heart attack) who needs our prayers.  Thank you, Anvil, for bringing this to our attention.

Joust Midsummer Classic Pre-Blast

For those inspired by the World Cup but lack the hand-foot coordination, come to Joust on Friday for an Ultimate Frisbee match, which YHC is aptly referring to as the Midsummer Classic (in honor of baseball’s All-Star Game next week).

The game will feature a glow-in-the-dark Frisbee and teams will be divided the old school way – Shirts vs. Skins. This will definitely be a Fun Friday, but points given up will result in punishment!

That Funky Feeling

(Posted on behalf of Funky Cold)
It was a beautiful fall feeling summer AM.
Warmed up to a lap around the old gravel track, followed by side-straddle hops and Imperior Walkers.
Partnered up for farmer carriers over the side entrance of church, which included 5 burpies.
2 rounds of 4 exercises (clean into squat into shoulder press at top/ curls / lounges/ tricep extensions) per partner. Partner 1 does exercise while partner 2 runs lap around church then flap jack.
Farmer carries to track next to launch with partner, which included 10 merkins.
Played 100s game with partner. 3 exercises included merkins, flutters with presses, and teabags.
Back to launch ending with protractor around the circle.

Hairburner Choose Your Own Adventure

Snot Woggle: A Workout that shuts down Mumble Chatter and leaves the PAX looking backwards half-unconscious from the pain
– As described in the F3 Lexicon

Hills and hairburners have a tendency to do that. Here’s how it went down for the 18 pax at the Maul this morning:

The Thang

Disclaimer given. Immediate call for Imperial Squat Walkers (x10 IC), right where we stood. A few reactions:

– “What, now, here?”
– “He’s in a hurry”
– “I don’t think this has ever happened before”

We didn’t have time to mess around, and that was all the warm up the pax were getting. Mosey to the top of the ‘Horn.

Murderhorn suicide:
– 2nd streetlight, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins
– To Summit Tree Ct, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins
– To bottom of the ‘Horn, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins

This didn’t take as long as YHC thought it would. The pax had come to work today, and that was pretty much all the running we were going to do. Mosey to the side of Firebird’s, get into teams of 4 or 5 (size, speed, IQ did not matter), continue to mosey to the front of Cantina, where cones/buckets were set up and 4 beautiful plates were laid out for the pax.

Hairburner Choose Your Own Adventure

3 sets of cones. First set is about 4 parking spaces (25 yards total there and back, 2nd is 8 (50 yards), and 3rd is about 11 (85-ish yards). Cones or buckets have pieces of paper taped to them with 2 different exercises. The first exercise is done by the team when the guy pushing the plate gets back. The second exercise is done by the team while the next guy is pushing the plate. The pax pushing the plate has the choice to go to the shorter cones (more difficult reps) or the further ones (furthest buckets had the easiest reps). Called exercises were:

1st cone: burpees, HR burpees, double-merkin burpees
2nd cone: Plank Jacks, Diamond Merkins, HR merkins, Monkey humpers
Far buckets: lunges, merkins, squats, CDDs

Each pax went about 3 times. Called this madness around 6:11 to mosey back to launch. Finished up with 45 seconds of plank.

The Skinny:

Just blame Purell. He did a similar set with his firehoses at da Vinci, and YHC’s sadistic mind thought “this would be great with hairburners.” By “great,” I meant “absolutely terrible.” YHC was smoked, as hopefully the rest of the pax were, as well. Only clocked about 1.9 miles, mostly in the first 12 minutes of the workout. If you did all the called exercises, you probably maintained a pretty high heart rate the entire 45 minutes. Mission accomplished.

Some observations:
– Shrinkwrap either a) loves burpees, b) hates hairburners, c) hated his teammates, or d) didn’t care because he “modifies” everything anyway. He was the only one to hit the short cone twice. Some people take a little longer to learn than others.

– No Show might be the fastest on the hairburners that I’ve ever seen. Let’s set up a race one day of that. Tuck – add this to the event list for next year’s Brolympics.

– Everyone thought we were running late because Cheddar and Marlin were on time

– Purell is slow. Whoever recruited him for their BRR team is in trouble. He was well ahead of everyone on the suicide and didn’t even look like he was breaking a sweat.

– This was one post where Escobar might have actually wished for more running.

– YHC found Squid’s kryptonite: hairburners. Much respect to him, though, as he went multiple rounds to the far bucket.

– Good to see Clark Griswold Madame T back from his west coast RV trip. His beard is looking fuller than ever. He didn’t appreciate the slightly slanted lot YHC picked for the morning’s festivities.

– T-Claps to Mighty Mite for rucking one of the 45-lb plates back to launch, in prep for the ruck he’s got coming up.

Strong performances by all this morning. It was a grind, but YHC never noticed any pax sitting it out. Everyone was giving their all.

An honor to lead. No doubt you’re all looking forward to YHC’s next Q (next Thursday at Rebel Yell).