Hairburner Choose Your Own Adventure

Hairburner Choose Your Own Adventure

Snot Woggle: A Workout that shuts down Mumble Chatter and leaves the PAX looking backwards half-unconscious from the pain
– As described in the F3 Lexicon

Hills and hairburners have a tendency to do that. Here’s how it went down for the 18 pax at the Maul this morning:

The Thang

Disclaimer given. Immediate call for Imperial Squat Walkers (x10 IC), right where we stood. A few reactions:

– “What, now, here?”
– “He’s in a hurry”
– “I don’t think this has ever happened before”

We didn’t have time to mess around, and that was all the warm up the pax were getting. Mosey to the top of the ‘Horn.

Murderhorn suicide:
– 2nd streetlight, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins
– To Summit Tree Ct, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins
– To bottom of the ‘Horn, 10 werkins, back to the top, 10 diamond merkins

This didn’t take as long as YHC thought it would. The pax had come to work today, and that was pretty much all the running we were going to do. Mosey to the side of Firebird’s, get into teams of 4 or 5 (size, speed, IQ did not matter), continue to mosey to the front of Cantina, where cones/buckets were set up and 4 beautiful plates were laid out for the pax.

Hairburner Choose Your Own Adventure

3 sets of cones. First set is about 4 parking spaces (25 yards total there and back, 2nd is 8 (50 yards), and 3rd is about 11 (85-ish yards). Cones or buckets have pieces of paper taped to them with 2 different exercises. The first exercise is done by the team when the guy pushing the plate gets back. The second exercise is done by the team while the next guy is pushing the plate. The pax pushing the plate has the choice to go to the shorter cones (more difficult reps) or the further ones (furthest buckets had the easiest reps). Called exercises were:

1st cone: burpees, HR burpees, double-merkin burpees
2nd cone: Plank Jacks, Diamond Merkins, HR merkins, Monkey humpers
Far buckets: lunges, merkins, squats, CDDs

Each pax went about 3 times. Called this madness around 6:11 to mosey back to launch. Finished up with 45 seconds of plank.

The Skinny:

Just blame Purell. He did a similar set with his firehoses at da Vinci, and YHC’s sadistic mind thought “this would be great with hairburners.” By “great,” I meant “absolutely terrible.” YHC was smoked, as hopefully the rest of the pax were, as well. Only clocked about 1.9 miles, mostly in the first 12 minutes of the workout. If you did all the called exercises, you probably maintained a pretty high heart rate the entire 45 minutes. Mission accomplished.

Some observations:
– Shrinkwrap either a) loves burpees, b) hates hairburners, c) hated his teammates, or d) didn’t care because he “modifies” everything anyway. He was the only one to hit the short cone twice. Some people take a little longer to learn than others.

– No Show might be the fastest on the hairburners that I’ve ever seen. Let’s set up a race one day of that. Tuck – add this to the event list for next year’s Brolympics.

– Everyone thought we were running late because Cheddar and Marlin were on time

– Purell is slow. Whoever recruited him for their BRR team is in trouble. He was well ahead of everyone on the suicide and didn’t even look like he was breaking a sweat.

– This was one post where Escobar might have actually wished for more running.

– YHC found Squid’s kryptonite: hairburners. Much respect to him, though, as he went multiple rounds to the far bucket.

– Good to see Clark Griswold Madame T back from his west coast RV trip. His beard is looking fuller than ever. He didn’t appreciate the slightly slanted lot YHC picked for the morning’s festivities.

– T-Claps to Mighty Mite for rucking one of the 45-lb plates back to launch, in prep for the ruck he’s got coming up.

Strong performances by all this morning. It was a grind, but YHC never noticed any pax sitting it out. Everyone was giving their all.

An honor to lead. No doubt you’re all looking forward to YHC’s next Q (next Thursday at Rebel Yell).

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