A Flag Day Celebration

A Flag Day Celebration

20 pax made it out to celebrate flag day.  Admittedly, it was my first time celebrating the holiday.  Apparently Xerox and Yeast started early posting a funneling picture on Group Me the night before.  We had two pax roll in late – since they were both nice guys (Posse and Shake N Bake) I decided to wait and gave everyone a quick history lesson as well as the reason for the special counts today: 50 Stars, 13 Stripes, 27th version of the flag.  After several attempts to get the flag in the rocky soil by Posse, I told him to lean it against the fence and lets go…then BAM!  Turn right into Dough Boy.  Happy to admit I kept my feet (no pancake block today Dough Boy!).  Regain my wits in time to see Xerox coming in on two wheels….the late night funnels almost did him in this morning.

THE WARM UP

Mosey to the brewery.  Butt Kickers and Punters when we got close.  Quick disclaimer.

• 50 Side Straddle Hops (around 37 I lost the ability to properly count.  Abacus would have been so disappointed).
• 13 Mountain Climbers
• 10 Potato Pickers

THE THANG

• Reverse Suicides with 13 T Merkins at the lights and 13 Aussi Burpee (no Merkin); or what I call a standard Burpee.  Transporter held strong with proper form Burpees…I didn’t have heart to tell him it was going to be a chest heavy workout.
• Noah’s Arc: Two at a time inch worm merkins across the bridge (getting an incline, flat, and decline position as you go due to bridge angles).  Jump squats while you wait your turn to go and wait on the 6.  I played a bad joke on the pax telling them we were flap jacking to do it again….after lots of groaning, a few tears, and threats of mutiny;  I let them in on the joke.  Mosey to Mary O’Neils.
• 5 Short Wall Exercises.  I quickly learned who listens and who doesn’t.  A pax (to remain nameless) asked on three occasions what the count was.  I understand needing help remembering on 1, maybe 2 exercises….but 3????  That guys poor wife must repeat her self constantly at home.  The other thing I chuckle at is when pax asks “Is that per leg or total”.  I can guarantee you if you ask that its going to be the tougher of the two…even if I didn’t mean for it to be.
  • 27 Step Ups
  • 50 Dips
  • 13 One Legged Step up (13 each leg)
  • 13 Carolina Dry Docks with feet on the wall (Posse asked me if it was 13 each arm just to piss me off.  Jokes on you Posse, I laughed instead!)
  • 13 One Legged Lunge (13 each leg)
• Mosey back to the Church for some beat the Q suicides.  Deflated and Foundation (almost like they talked about it in bed last night) jointly defended and handicapped the Q to allow everyone to beat me.  I was able to bring out some old football spin moves (though ugly, uncoordinated, and slow), swim moves, and and an attempted rip on Deflated.  It was fairly easy getting by him, but unbeknownst to me, that was all part of his plan.  By the time I got to the far light pole, I was wore out from all the extra work.  A short walk to catch my breath and then an attempted sprint to try to beat the 6….then I see Foundation jogging at me with a huge smile on his face.  I conceded and said “lets just lock horns and I will push you”.  Apparently he heard, “lets hug it out and you attempt to pull me to the ground”.  After some awkward maneuvering and hearing things from the Pax that would make a mother blush, I decided that was enough of Beat the Q (or was it).
• I had previously promised no hill work today.  A quick check of the watch showed we had 10 minutes and I didn’t think we had done quite enough running yet today.  Mosey to bottom of the hill.
• Backwards lunge backwards up the hill 10 times (Don’t ask me total or each leg) and then do 3 Carolina dry docks facing down hill (harder that way).  Somewhere in all that Transporter heard run backwards up the hill.  Thanks to the pax that were paying attention that straightened him out.  Halfway up the hill I heard some groaning, no wait; that’s a Car call.  Everyone off the road.  Recalculating said something about a parade so I just started waiving at the car (natural reaction I guess).  I was disappointed the person didn’t roll down their window and throw us candy.  My guess is they had no idea what was going on with 20 men on the side of the road at day break waving as they went by.
• 3 minutes left so I decided we needed one final beat the Q.  Jailbreak to the car.  I begged (some would call it a plead) not to let me beat anyone.  I gave the pax a 5 second head start then off I went.  Towards the bottom of the church I caught up with Dough Boy, then over Dough Boy’s shoulder I see that dreaded grin.  Its Foundation.  “No Hugs”, but it was too late.  Dough Boy came streaking by and Foundation gave me a break.  We jogged it in.
• Asked Transporter to lead Heels to Heaven while I grabbed my phone.  I jumped in around 20 and messed up the count asking them to keep going to 30….being must older and wiser than I, Transporter said he was going to 27.  Oh yeah, Flat Day, 27th version of the flag.  Yeah, better plan than 30, go to 27.  Transporter “What number did I stop at?”  My bad guys.  Q fail on that one.  Finish up with 27 Heels to Heaven.  Time check 6:15.  Count ’em off.

MOLE SKIN

• Great work today guys.  One of the bigger groups for the floater.  I wish I could say it was because of my great marketing skills of putting Honey Boo Boo’s mom on Group me to invite everyone, or that everyone was excited about flag day.  In reality, the Journeyman’s Challenge along with 2 FNG’s boosted our numbers today.
• Welcome Crockett & Tubbs (EH’ed by Mad Dog) and Cobra Kai (Longhorn’s 2.0).
• Crocket & Tubbs is from Miami (very close to being called Einhorn) so we went with a Miami Vice reference.  Good work from the new guy.  Trust me I know how hard that first workout can be (or any workout for us Clydesdales for that matter).  Way to stay with it and make it through to the end.
• Cobra Kai is big into martial arts and likes the new Karate Kid series.  Attempts to call him Fox Sports or Poke for Oklahoma State where quickly nixed by his dad.  Good work today young man.
• Too many guys to call out individually, but good work by everyone on a fairly light run, but heavy exercise intense day.  Sometimes the workout seems great in the head, but getting it out and understandable to the Pax can be challenging.  Thanks for hanging with me.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• Loafer Meal Sign Up: www.takethemameal.com/cukc5805.  For those unaware, Loafers appendix burst and he is the Chef of the family.
• Q School coming up soon.  I honestly zoned out on the date but its on a Saturday coming up soon.  Its near a Panera Bread in Ballentyne?  Get with Posse if you are interested.
• Shop Dawg and Transporter were mumble chattering about who was going to share their announcement then when I handed them the floor, Shop Dawg got cold feet.  I can only dream that it was something good like free left over beer from the Sand Box party.  I guess we will never know…..