Fishing for FNG’s, Netted a Bunch of Kotters Instead

Fishing for FNG’s, Netted a Bunch of Kotters Instead

Quarterly the SOB region has been putting together a workout meant to attract and retain FNG’s while bringing back some of the Kotter folk. YHC & Transporter wanted this to be a workout that would be somewhat FNG friendly, while still making it worthwhile to the tuned up PAX that woke up ready for a challenge. This was my first rodeo at the newer Cerberus AO, thus the 4:50 arrival time to do some recon where I ran into Bunker and Meat Loaf heading out for a pre-run appetizer. Cars began filling up the lot, PAX jumping out of vehicles and making their way over and with 530 on the dial YHC exclaimed “Do we have any new guys, aka FNG’s”….Crickets….more Crickets….scanning familiar face after familiar face…still Crickets…Boom, got 1…and only 1. 1 token FNG stepped forward and was the sole focus of my disclaimer.

Warm-up (General_)

  • Buzz over to the lot where the “Gladiator” crew was working out, and circle up
    • My strategy here was to try and attract some attention to F3, possibly draw out a FNG. Realized this was a backfire once there were females spotted amongst the “Gladiator” crew…
  • 20 SSH
  • 10 LSS
  • 10 Merkins
  • 20 MC

The Thang (General_)

  • Mosey back to Viva Chicken lot and line-up for Progressive suicides:
    • Run to 1st island and back + 20x merkins + 20x Bombjacks = (20x each)
    • Suicide using 1st & 2nd islands +15x merkins + 15x Bombjacks each time reaching start line = (30x each)
    • Suicide using 1st, 2nd & 3rd islands +10x merkins + 10x Bombjacks each time reaching start line = (30x each)
    • Suicide using 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th islands +5x merkins + 5x Bombjacks each time reaching start line = (20x each)
  • Mosey to the Parking Deck & partner up:
    • P1 Burpee broad-jump 15yds, bear crawl back to P2
    • P2 doing Merkins
    • Flapjack with goal equaling 100 total merkins
    • Repeato w/ 100 total CDD

The Thang-a-lang (Transporter) 

  • Donkey Webb
    • 3:1 Ratio of Donkey Kicks to Mike Tysons, 7 sets total (21 DK’s, 7 MT’s) = FNG barely alive and majority of PAX totally wrecked
  • Split into 4 groups with the goal of moving a 45lb from the bottom of the parking deck to the top of the parking deck…Hairburner style
    • 1 PAX moving plate thru Parking Deck
    • Rest of PAX doing 10 American Hammers, 10 lunges than catch up to Hair Burner PAX and switch
    • PAX finishing Hair Burner run to nearest stairwell and double back to team
  • Mary at the top until last group finishes, down the stair well and back to COT finishing up some Mary until the 6 is in


Well, to briefly summarize:

  • Thank you Squid for the take out
  • There was 1 FNG who felt damn special. Welcome “Teacher’s Pet” and great work Cheddar on bringing out your Professor. I owe you a Chik-Fil-A biscuit
    • Runners up in the name department were: Hot4Teacher, Sheldon
  • There were a strong number of Kotters…you know who you are and great to see you. Come back anytime, admission is free
  • Even if you are a seasoned F3 vet, Transporter’s portion alone was worth getting out of bed for. Pretty sure I lost 2lbs of sweat in the parking deck
  • Don’t let FNG day be the only day that you try to bring out FNGs…or not bring out FNGs. Plenty of solid AO’s scattered throughout the week that would make a difference in someones life so keep pushing to bring ’em in.


  • Private Pool party in the Lawson neighborhood coming up the 2nd Weekend in June. All you can drink brews + food for a very reasonable price. Proceeds are going to help fund current and future “SandBox” projects. If you haven’t gotten involved, check out the SandBox channel on Slack. MORE INFO to come surrounding the pool party. Be on the look-out via Slack and Tweeter.

Over & Out



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