The Miseducation of StubHub



The Miseducation of StubHub

INTRO

The PAX of Union County do not fear the Polar Vortex, nor an AMRAP, nor a Holiday Jukebox, but only the 9 toughest wake themselves early during Spring Break in order to endure the mentally demanding workout YHC brings as he tries to incorporate new and strange activities from the Exicon.  One of those fine men is StubHub who revealed that he – well, more his M – is less than three weeks away from blessing the world with a tiny new ticket vendor.  The rest of the PAX warned him that he should be sleeping at 5:30 AM while he still can, but he continued and the teachings of the wiser older PAX became less useful.

DOO WOP (That Thing)

(Warning: YHC’s dog ate his Weinke, so this is recounted from a highly questionable memory.)

1 x Disclaimer

Warm-up:

During Indian Run, Q would shout halt at speed bumps and light poles and the PAX in front would call out an exercise for 15 IC.

  • Goofball
  • SSH
  • Flutter?
  • Squats?
  • Plank Jacks
  • Don Quixote

 

PAX moseyed to the hill for Clock Merkins, a new-found YHC favorite.  All 9 called a time and the men shifted and did 5 merkins at each point on the clock.

PAX then moseyed to the… facilities management building (?) for a round of Walls of Jericho.  7 reps of each exercise, followed by a lap around the building and then regrouping for the next exercise in the set.  The set ended with an AYG run around the building, but no shout.

  • Pistol crunch
  • Flapjack Pistol crunch
  • Star Jacks
  • Boat-canoe
  • Superman
  • Burpees
  • Big Boy Sit-ups

Mosey to the middle school entrance and partner work.

  • Tammy Wynette, with 3 small laps, one after each 50 count. Each partner hit 100 Merkins and 100 squats.
  • Partner Plank Curls x 30

Mosey to the lunch area for Dips x 25 IC.

Mosey home for Monkey Humpers x 10 to finish up.

 

NOTHING EVEN MATTERS

The pre-workout mumblechatter was good and revealed that the StubHub family is soon to grow.  The conversation could have veered towards important fatherly suggestions and tips such as bed times, how to change diapers, 529 funding and when are 2.0s ready for their first sporting events, but that was not the case.  Instead, StubHub was educated on who Tammy Wynette was and her signature song, “Stand By Your Man.”  Soon after, he was introduced to Partner Plank Curls which is, frankly, an unsightly exercise that YHC vows to never attempt again – and this comes from the guy who isn’t afraid to throw monkey humpers into the workout.  YHC and Bratwurst completed the 30 each, but there were many refuseniks.  The final educational element was a later conversation around Gladys Knight (minus the Pips).

  • It was not discovered until the COT, but Bratwurst celebrated a birthday on this fine morning and Goodfella expressed his sincere wish that it be an excellent birthday in all the right ways. Brat does not yet qualify for the Fishing Hole.  On Slack he also seemed worried that teens have sullied the Camel emoji and what that means for the Dromedary workout – today’s workout did nothing to alleviate that fear.
  • Rockwell was back after some time on the Disabled List and was a welcome sight.
  • Hollywood and Johnny Utah (R) blasted through the Tammy Wynette and put in more than the requisite number of reps.
  • Mad Dog doesn’t grumble, gives reasonable clock merkin times and knows his Tammy Wynette.
  • As Bratwurst noted, The Grease Monkey did his best Rahab impersonation on Walls of Jericho by hiding and bursting from the bushes during a lap around the building.
  • Goodfella took the Partner Plank Curls way too far down that path.
  • StubHub – well, good luck, brother. The PAX enjoys having you out and hopefully the next three weeks aren’t the last time you’re around for the next 3 years.

 

TELL HIM

  • Prayer request for Johnny Utah’s friend Scott who recently got a cancer diagnosis.
  • Floater and Pursuit on Thursdays.
  • Open invitation from YHC to attend a free Gladys Knight gospel choir performance on Saturday at either 4 PM or 7 PM at the LDS Church at 5815 Carmel Road. https://www.saintsunifiedvoices.com/event-details

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