By the Book

By the Book

AYE. An even 10 showed up for the weekly Rock Zero beatdown – err, I mean, it was a “light” day so it wasn’t actually that much of a beatdown. Just take a look at what happened. You’ll agree.

Mosey from parking lot to the fake grass semi-circle
10 x SSH
5 Burps
10 x Imperial Walker
5 Burps

Run over to the bottom of the hill at Five Knolls
Group 1 runs to the top while Group 2 does Merkins, flapjack
Repeat – but with Mary exercises
Repeat – but with leg exercises

Suicides to fire hydrant and then work back with 4 manhole covers

In other words, we ran this hill a lot of times and it was awful.

Then we ran it all the way to Rea Road on Five Knolls

10 Burpees at the end
10 Burpees at the next street up
10 Burpees at the street after that
10 Burpees at 51
10 Burpees at the island
10 Burpees on the other side of 51
10 Burpees at the entrance to Calvary
10 Burpees at the portico

5 minutes of real, legit, no feet-touching-the-ground Mary

10 Burpees to close it out



  1. There was considerable mockery of my lack of originality about going to Five Knolls but looks, fellas, that hill hurts and you know it. Besides, today was a “light” day and I had to follow all of the rules, which I successfully did.
  2. The best part about the trek to Five Knolls was a little game that I decided to play with Hammer, who works for Arcadia Homes, one of the finer builders in the area. See, WhiteGate, which is the way to get to Five Knolls from Calvary, was once a neighborhood chock full of custom houses. Then Pulte bought up all of the lots and started building houses that look like they belong in Phoenix, but have brick instead of stucco and regular roofs rather than terracotta. It’s weird. So the game was to see if Hammer could correctly identify custom houses versus Pulte houses. As it turns out, everyone in the entire group could spot the difference. I bring this up only because our dear friend Bounce, who used to post at Day Zero, is the local land buyer for Pulte and assured me that no one would be able to tell the difference between a custom house and a Pulte at WhiteGate. Well, Bounce, 10/10 pax on a dark morning could spot the difference. Even Hammer’s 14 year old son Sledge. Just sayin’.
  3. Which brings me to my next point. Sledge is fast. Real fast. Like, Rachel and Purell fast. And he doesn’t really look like he’s trying.
  4. TClaps to all of the Clydesdales who battled the hill. It ain’t easy but y’all crushed it.


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