Alexa, play “House of Pain”

Alexa, play “House of Pain”

5 of South Charlotte’s finest PAX gathered at SCMS for another edition of Area 51’s Death Valley.  YHC must confess to not knowing the origination of the AO name.  Perhaps the SCMS track is located in a bowl?  Perhaps the site launch was instituted by a Clemson or LSU grad?  YHC is somewhat familiar with the Clemson story behind “Death Valley” (someone stole a rock from that California hellhole and carried it back to the Upstate for some reason), but the LSU story escapes me.  Irregardless, the stadium in Baton Rouge is known as “Tuscaloosa-West” to us Bama brethren, so why those Cajuns call it “Death Valley” can remain a mystery.  RTR

Wholly inadequate disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX.  Slow mosey to Gateway Academy parking lot.


  • IW x20 IC
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • Low Slow Lunge x10 ea. leg IC
  • Descending Merkin x10 IC
  • Stretching interlude
  • MC x10 IC
  • Peter Parker x10 IC
  • Parker Peter x10 IC

Mosey to Alexis neighborhood.  Mary at McPherson/Wyman intersection.  Mosey to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs; 10 Merkins ea. location.  Congregate at bottom of McCallum Court hill.

Triple Nickel — Squat Jacks at top, Plank Knee-ups at bottom.  Mary after completion.


Mosey towards SCMS.  Stop at Strawberry Ln / Woodfox.  Mosey down Woodfox to Rounding Run.  5 burpees OYO.  Return on Woodfox to Strawberry Ln.  5 burpees OYO.

Mosey to SCMS blacktop basketball goals.

  • Squat Hold, aka Defensive Position, for 1 min.
  • Plank Hold for 1 min.
  • Suicides

Finish with Mary.  COT.  Done.


Solid effort by the PAX today, as requests were made via Text Message for running.  With the most recent calfoidal perturbance in the rearview mirror, YHC was happy to oblige.  Smokey’s After Action Report clocked the mileage at 3.1, which is not a bad total considering the amount of Boot Camping that occurred.  Spackler heckled the Donut Run PAX, but they ignored him.  Yell louder next time.  Dollywood fell asleep in his vehicle prior to Launch due to sleep deprivation that accompanies a newborn in the house.  It gets better.  Dollywood also proclaimed “This workout sucks!” towards the end which YHC took as a badge of honor.  You’re welcome.  Smokey rocked the running portion per usual (#ageless), and Puddin’ grinded out the miles on a PF weakened foot.  Oddly enough, flatulence was at a minimum today.

YHC has been frequenting Death Valley for almost 2 years, yet this was YHC’s site VQ.  How does that happen??  It was a pleasure and honor to lead.  Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.


PAX Madison currently in job transition.  Technical Sales.  Prayers requested.

Heads up for 6th Annual “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” event on April 28th, hosted by Safe Alliance.  Great event, great organization.  More info to come regarding F3 involvement.

About the author

JetFuel author

2 Comments so far

GummyPosted on2:22 pm - Mar 8, 2018

As passed down through Area 51 lore, one of the region’s first AOs was at the YMCA-formerly-known-as-Siskey in their fancy sunken field out front. I suppose the bowl shape and the fact that Tiger Rag was heavily involved led to the Death Valley name. To nobody’s surprise, the Y kicked F3 out since our free workout may interfere with people paying $100+ per month to exercise.

JetFuelPosted on2:36 am - Mar 9, 2018

Good to know. Leave it to a Clemson guy…

You must be logged in to post a comment.