Dirty Dozen for an “Easy” Workout

Dirty Dozen for an “Easy” Workout

13 PAX got an easy workout at Thrive at Carolina Courts: Shake N Bake, Bernanke, Thurston, Bullwinkle, Hairband, Lamont, Hoffa, Glass Joe, Shepherd, Lumberjack, Espresso, E-Harmony, Bonhoeffer

The Warmup

Took a lap around the gym counterclockwise to get the uphill.

  1. sidestraddle hops X 21
  2. Imperial walkers X 21
  3. slow windmills X 10
  4. squats X 21

The Thang

  1. Front parking lot > Starfish: 5 squat pushups in middle each time … Mountain Climbers X 15 … Dry Docks X 15 … LBCs X 21 … Imperial Walkers X 15
  2. 15 American Hammers
  3. Mosey to track > 15 jump squats at 3 & 9 o’clock … 15 lunges each leg (30) 6 & 12 0’clock
  4. Mosey to hill at north road > 10 X up and down the hill, once backwards, faster for last 3
  5. Mosey to Volleyball Courts > split into teams: 15 step-ups each leg (30 total) while partner does dips … 10 jump squats in sand while partner does merckens … repeato
  6. Return to launch.
  7. Mary > back scratchers, Freddy Mercuries, dying cockroaches, WWII situps, shoulder clap pushups, planks
  8. El fin.


With Bonhoeffer fresh off Q school, everyone’s high hopes were bound to be shattered.

Glass Joe didn’t wait to phewting mumblechatter while we ran so far around the gym. When we got back, we found Bullwinkle … “What time does the 0530 workout start?” … cue 5 Burpwinkles.

During stretching, a couple of hecklers who went to Bros, Brews, & Bibles on Sunday tried (successfully) to distract the Q with appropriate jokes about things you’ll have to attend B3 next time to be privy too.

We started with ye ole Starfish in the front parking lot. Since the Q doesn’t like how Burpies grind his spine, we did alternative burpies “squat pushups” in the center, 5 after each starfish leg. 4 corners were 15 X Mountain Climbers, Dry Docks, LBCs, & Imperial Walkers. We did 2 rounds.

21 American Hammers on your own. Lots of complaints about it not being time for Mary yet. After all, who wants nice abs anyway?

We moseyed to the modified “track” around the soccer field, had to run up to the sidewalk at the road and down the grass hill at the side.

  • 15 jump squats at 3 & 9 o’clock
  • 15 lunges each leg (30) 6 & 12 0’clock
  • Go back and get the 6 o’clock

To the north hill by the road. We kept it simple … no 7s … and JUST ran up and down the hill 10 X. Mixed it up with one backwards and the last 3 faster than before. Funny, no one complained about how easy this was. Also funny how many of us didn’t want to touch the fence and the sidewalk … apparent confusion about top and bottom (that’s what she said).

We moseyed back toward the volleyball courts, and Hairband thought he’d crack at the Q that they only went that way because he left his jacket. But E-Harmony knew the real truth.

At the volleyball courts, we split into partners (w/ one threesome) and did a double circuit of fun.

  • 15 step-ups each leg (30 total) while the other partner did endless dips … switch.  Then 10 jump squats in the sand (glad the threatening rain held off so we’d have dry sand) while partner does endless merckens … repeato … and of course, Q saved the sand till the end so we wouldn’t get blisters.
  • For all Glass Joe’s mumblechatter, he didn’t want to get his painted toenails dirty in the sand, so he stayed on the grass for super easy jump squats.

Back in the parking lot during Mary, we tried a mix to hit all our ab muscles >

  • back scratchers (obliques)
  • Freddy Mercuries (lower & obliques)
  • dying cockroaches (lower & obliques)
  • WWII situps (high abs)
  • shoulder clap pushups (all abs)
  • planks w/ arm raises (all abs)


El fin.


  1. Lumberjack is hosting a cancer fundraiser. Hit him up to find out how to donate. He’s even on Facebook now!

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