Monthly Archive March 2018

Sinister six

Today, 13 gathered at Area 51’s most macho workout to pound the pavement around Christ Covenant Church and do things with kettlebells.

YHC disclaimed — it was from the heart and during COP it was called “sweet” — and we were off …


  • 5 swings OYO
  • SSH x20 IC
  • 10 swings OYO
  • IW x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • LSS x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • Mountain climbers x20 IC
  • 20 swings OYO

During COP, YHC realized he messed up his swing increases, as it was supposed to be a predictor of what was ahead. Oh well.

Partner up, and play Catch Me If You Can down to the courtyard in between the two staircases of doom. Chaser does 5 jump squats before chasing.


Meet in the courtyard. This is pretty simple. YHC calls an exercise, do 5 reps of said exercise there in the courtyard. Mosey around the church with your bell, stop at the next entrance (indicated by the gigantic Celtic cross, and, you know, doors) and do 10 reps of said exercise.

Wait, did he say “with your bell”? Sure did.

Anyway, mosey to the next entrance, 15 reps, mosey to the last entrance, 20 reps, then recover mosey back to the courtyard.

  • Round 1: Curls
  • Round 2: Good Mornings
  • Round 3: Upright row
  • Round 4: Lunges (each leg counts as 1)
  • Round 5: Overhead press
  • Round 6: Squats (goblet, teabag, whatever)

We did some LBCs after round 3. We did Freddy Mercury and Flutters after round 4 (I think it was 4).

After finishing the 20-rep stop on the squats, mosey back to launch.

Back at launch, do LBCs until the Q calls time — 30 seconds later, we’re done.


Counting, naming, praying.



Baracus had something to say, and he said it.


Now, there’s a saying around my household: “Those who can read have a great advantage in life.” Now, I know reading my various ping-ponging thoughts on Twitter dot com, a free website, can be a little hard, but, I did say in a Tweet yesterday: “You might err on the side of a traveling bell.” I consider that an adequate warning.

The workout started with a fair amount of mumblechatter — Baracus commended me on my SSH and IW form, comparing me to the absent Bulldog. [Insert Joker “Not Sure if Serious” meme here]

I knew this workout was going to be a pain in the, well, everywhere, but the PAX were up to the challenge. Since the pack generally stayed together, there was even some strategy involved in surviving this big, dumb workout …

“Smokey, don’t run so fast.”
“Whoever finishes first has to do Turkish Get-Ups.”
“Smokey, slow down.”
“We don’t have to run, you guys.”
“Smokey, why are you in a hurry?”

I think it was Baracus who came up with the idea of continuing to move while doing the overhead presses, as starting and stopping was becoming more of an issue. BLC also just smartly modified and left his bell behind on the lunge round. Stone Cold lobbied for as much Mary as possible. I tried not to overindulge his wishes.

Any other mumblechatter I might’ve missed, please sound off in the comments!

Excellent job all around. It was a tough slog, but, that’s what we just call “Tuesday” here at Skunk. Thanks to Chin Music and Blazing Saddles for the opportunity to lead this bunch of #HIM. I know I’m stronger in every sense of the word every single week thanks to all y’all (if Bulldog is reading this, that means “everybody” in American).

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I am going to go not grip things for a few days.

Poo Poo Parking Deck

7 men stood in the gloom awaiting instruction from YHC. Disclaimed and ready to go we drop and get 5 Burpees out of the way. Frehleys was not impressed. Wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last. Follow me.

Winding our way up colnan and down to bally med rd out to the light on BCP. Cross the street and up to Bally village parking deck. YHC anticipated precipitation but the only thing that soaked us was a heavy fog of the gloom and our perspiration. Stop in lot next to deck and circle up.

COP – IC x 15 SSH, IW, Mtn Climber, Merkin, Low Slow Squat.

Mosey over to level 1 and partner up. Glad to have even numbers.

The Thang

P1 does called exercise, P2 runs up a level, finds stairs and descends to relieve partner. Flapjack. Repeato but go 2 levels. YHC can’t count and we descend to basement for final ascent. Repeato up 3 levels.

Wall sit to catch up the six and our breathe.

Reverso. P1 climbs stairs one level and descends to relieve P2. Flapjack. Repeato 2 levels then 3 levels.

Called exercises included lunges, lbc, plankorama, monkey humpers, reverse plankorama, rosalita and something else

Wall sit some more then head back to launch.

Find the brick wall on colnan and hang for 30 secs then jail break up hill and down to launch lot.


NMM: P200 taper, the hawk and rain aversion are a few contributing factors to low attendance. But we still took the DRP and got to it. Frehleys always has something to say. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Tag along is quick. Don’t sleep on that guy. The parking deck is just nasty. Smells like a hippie commune. The stairwells resemble the aftermath of a nickelback concert. Vomit and poo everywhere. I think people might board their dogs there during the day. #justnasty

Happy to facilitate a Q in SOBland. Tks tag for letting me take the reigns.


22 total combined Bagpipe/Swift

P200 this weekend. Praying for everyone’s safety and health throughout.

Davinci was smack talking Stonehenge. I’ll let y’all figure what’s open this weekend.

YHC on the BOM

I’ve got a smooth patch here if you want some

I took my semi-annual trip to DMZ this morning where I met up with 7 other PAX for a little Monday morning workout.  I got roped into a P200 team this weekend so no need to crush the running today (it’s taper week from my not training)

A weak disclaimer was given, Aquafresh showed up at the last minute in what appeared to be capri pants (I thought Runstopper had cornered the market on men’s capri’s, but I guess not)

Mosey over to the church parking lot for some COP.

SSH, IW, Plank work with Mountain Climbers, Peter Parkers, Plank Jacks and maybe other stuff.

Over at the benches do 3 rounds of 10 inclines merkins and 10 dips.

Leave the church and back into the neighborhoods.  Meander our way over to the Hartmill Hill.  Stopped along the way for some plank work while we waited on the six.

Run down the hill 15 Romanian Dead Lifts each leg, run to top 15 jump squats and plank.

Repeat with exercises and backward run up.  Plank

Repeat with exercises and forward run up.  Plank

Repeat with exercises and backward run up. Plank

Changed up the planking exercises throughout, sometimes elbows, sometimes shoulder taps, sometimes hip slappers.

Mosey back to launch stopping along the way for some Mary that included LBC, Flutter, Freddy Mercury, Heels to Heaven and more plank work.

Get to the launch and finish with – Planks, for about 90 seconds.


I wondered how much planking we could do in an entire workout.  I’d guess we got close to 12 to 15 minutes worth.  Hopefully you feel that in the shoulders and core tomorrow.  Kirk complained a lot about it.  He has baby soft hands.  I think it was Chappy who graciously offered him a spot on his smooth patch (of pavement) but Kirk declined.

All in all some good hard work out there this morning.  Some refusnik on the long up hill backwards running and some of the elbow plank work, but nothing too bad.  Lots of guys finish the workout with some arm circles trying to stretch out those shoulders that had started to stiffen up.

Thanks to One-Eye for the takeout.

We asked for announcements and it turned into some long story by Kirk and I forgot what the announcement was.

Always a great crew at DMZ.  Thanks for keeping me on the Q rotation so I can travel north every few months and get out of my comfort zone.


Mountain Climbing Party

Last Tuesday saw 25 PAX (perhaps there were more, sure seemed like it) hit the Country Club of Ballantyne to climb some hills for Swift 2nd Tuesday of the month – now known as Hills Week.


  • 0500 – must be relay season, for there were a lot of PAX out to get in an extra 1.3mi of easy running.
  • 0515 – parking lot bursting with PAX, we had to get out of there before getting security called for an un-sanctioned protest in the Ballantyne Corporate Park. Mosey across to the Ballantyne Hotel and cut through the Parking Lot to the Ballantyne Country Club east entrance.
  • 0525 – normal warm-up routing with a couple more bounding and lower leg springy exercises to wake up the lower legs to ready for the hill repeats.
  • 0535 – mosey to the bottom of Ballantyne Corp Dr for instructions.  Intervals will be :30, :30, 1:00.  Recover back down to starting point after each.  Most will be straightforward up the hill to either side of the bottom.  Some quick form reminders communicated, and these articles do a good job of covering them in more detail – (includes good advice about racing over hills)
    • 1st set – uphill “east” hill
    • 2nd set – uphill “south” hill
    • 3rd set – bounding for both :30 intervals up “east” hill, backwards run up east hill for 1:00
    • 4th set – uphill “east” hill for two :30, uphill “south” for 1:00
    • 5th set – uphill “south” hill for two :30, uphill “east” for 1:00 and head towards COT
  • 0615-0620 – getting back to the Vine parking lot late was the fault of the Q.  5th hill set should have probably been on the way back to COT.
  • Wild Turkey took us out.
  • Das Boot on the question of the week, “Foundations,” at 3rdF-Timekeeper

The Moleskin:

  • So, that’s another variation on hills.  1st variation was the 2/1/:30 over a hilly course.  There are others variations of course, and we’re looking at you to come up with another one next month!
  • Why do we choose to do Hills on the 2nd Tuesday of the month?  So, Devils Turn Qs can know what to avoid hammer everyone into running the same thing on Thursday the same week!?  Oh…Meatloaf didn’t show up at Swift this week…and YHC didn’t post the Backblast.  You can blame me.
  • New PAX that are still wet behind their Swift ears were out there this week – like Guapo and Madison
  • Veteran PAX that are new again after they have been out because of extended absences – like Nard-Dog, Teddy, and Long Haul
  • Veteran PAX that are there week to week without much fanfare but putting in the hard work – like Goonie, Tootie, Voodoo, Wild Turkey, MT, Picasso, Atlas, Erector, and Mario
  • PAX that rarely miss an opportunity to run (i.e. wouldn’t know a merkin if they were in a Plank position and were told to put their chest on the ground) were out there – Das Boot, Gumbo, and Woodson
  • 5 of 6 representatives from P200 Team Clandestine SoBs Ultra (who are gunning for another Top 3 overall finish) were out there – Thin Mint, Haggis, Frasier, Fletch, and Bunker
  • Someone you wish you had to run the Mountain Goat legs for your BRR team (don’t worry buddy, not foreshadowing here…at least it’s not my call) – Citgo
  • And the Ballantyne Hill assassin was out there again sneaking up on WT – Cheddar (who holds a dubious trumped up charge of causing someone injury during a run…believe me Cheddar, I know how it feels).


  • P200 vacancies have been filled by now, so if you were sweating it out that you would be forced into it, you’re safe!
  • See Ickey Shuffle about a Smokey Mountain Relay team vacancy (9man team) for the end of April.




14 for 5 Holes at Providence Country Club

Now that we have course, Brat arrived early and showed 13 of us the way through Providence Country Club.

Not just another run, it was a Turkey Trot! How many workouts have you been at where both @wildturkey and @turkey_leg post together?


  • 0515 – perhaps it actually started on time today with YHC showing up in advance of the 0515 start time…
  • Begin no man left behind 5mi run on the “Providence P” course through Providence CC.
  • Staying true to PaperJam BB fashion, the route was: end around Starbucks to Rea Rd sidewalk and head south to Ardrey Kell.  Left on Ardrey Kell across Rea Rd.  Bumble along the 2nd most cracked and disjointed sidewalk in Charlotte (just behind the Danger Zone further up Rea Rd past Bevington to Hwy 51) along Ardrey Kell before turning Right on Tom Short Rd at the Fountains Shopping center.

Perfect workout for a Monday.

Looking for a 9th for Smokey Mountain Relay. Contact Icky Shuffle

F3 South Charlotte – 2nd F Family Outing at Great Wolf Lodge (11/9/2018)

Men of F3 South Charlotte,

I’m excited to announce the 2nd Annual Family outing at the Great Wolf Lodge (Concord) is officially ready for reservations. We currently have 13 rooms in our block for Friday November 9, 2018. Our prices are as follows:

  1. Standard room with 2 beds – $204.99 plus tax
  2. Themed Room (separate Kids themed sleeping area and adult bed) – $249.99 plus tax

Please call to reserve your rooms as soon as possible. We have 13 rooms (10 standard rooms and 3 themed rooms) in our original block. The quicker we book those, the quicker (and more likely) I’ll get the same rate on additional rooms.

Please call the Great Wolf Lodge at 1-866-751-9653 and give them our group reservation # 1811F3BA. Let me know once you’ve booked.

– Madame Tussauds


St. Patty’s Day Shenanigans

Where else would anyone post on St. Patrick’s Day other than the #1 drinking AO in all of F3? Well, 16 pax made the right choice, earning whatever libations were to be ingested later that festive day. Here’s how they earned it:

The Thang:

Mosey to the Dana Rader Golf School parking lot across from the SPX building. The yog here was maybe .5-.6 miles, yet the complaints and mumblechatter started exactly .43 miles into the workout. It was going to be a long hour unless YHC figured out some way to turn that chatter into heavy breathing. Circled up for COP: IW x 15 IC, Windmill x 10 IC, merkins x 10 IC, LSS x 10 IC.

Headed down the cart path into the darkness of the golf course. Through the (pleasantly surprising) very well-lit tunnel, around the 17th green and down the 17th fairway. Cut across the 11th hole, calling out the sand trap so no one falls in, dodge a few lawnmowers (who were undoubtedly surprised to see a bunch of idiots in black running through the course at 6:10 on a Saturday morning), around the 12th tee and up to the patio of the first of four buildings that run along the left side of the 12th hole. Main event: at each patio, do a called exercise, wait for the six, rinse and repeat.

Round 1: 5 burpees (to get the heartrate going)
Round 2: 10 Supermans (because we don’t work our back muscles as much as we should)
Round 3: 15 incline merkins at patios 1 & 3, 15 decline merkins at 2 & 4
Round 4: 20 dips
Round 5: 25 LBCs

At this point, we’re right next to the Met Life building on B’tyne Commons. Pop into the parking deck there for 3 quick rounds of Mary (Flutter x 10 IC, Dolly x 10 IC, six-inch crunches x 10 IC). Head out to Ballantyne Commons toward the resort. Right into the parking lot by the golf entrance, left to the long row of parking spaces right along Ballantyne Commons. Partner up. P1 starts doing burpees, 1 in each parkign spot. P2 runs to the end of the row and back. Flapjack. We continue this for about 2 rounds, and headed back to launch. A few rounds of Mary (American Hammer, Freddie Mercury) and a 1-minute plank and we were done.

YHC’s prediction on what each pax celebrated St. Patty’s Day with:

Billy Goat: YHC thinks he’s a Cubs fan, so this one’s easy: PBR. The curse is over, BG, you can start drinking some better stuff now.
Cul-de-sac: A fine glass of Chardonnay. YHC doesn’t know CDS very well, but he looks like a classy dude.
Hops: Being the beer connoisseur that he is, he was undoubtedly slamming the hoppiest light beer he could find. Probably Natural Light. He was, simultaneously, poking a voodoo doll of YHC in protest of having to run more than 2 miles in a boot camp #makebootcampsrunlessagain
Taglong: Another easy one: the Tagging-A-Long Brown
HIPAA: The lowest-liability beer: O’Doul’s
Toolbag: Toolbag has gone through a nice little body transformation since joining F3. He was rockin’ some Michelob Ultra with some bikini-clad models while rollerblading through the park.
Commish: My man likes his Coors Lights. Probably had 36 of them.
Frehley’s Comet: Where do we begin? Vodka, bourbon, and a lot of it.
Fire Hazard: He told us during the workout what he’d be enjoying – a frothy bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill. Don’t let anyone give you shit, Haz. You do you, buddy!
Nard-Dog: ND hails from the Ivy league, so he was probably drinking some high-end Scotch. YHC guesses Macallan.
Fireman Ed: Ginger beer, obviously.
Wild Turkey: Jim Beam.
Frasier: The heaviest beer he can find (in another futile attempt to put on weight). Probably Guinness. Then, after 12 of those, he slowed down from a 5:00 mile to a 5:04 mile.
Shrinkwrap: YHC doesn’t know what millenials drink, so YHC guesses Shrinkwrap was one of those bros at the bar double-fisting Red Bull & Vodka. That’s basically how YHC pictures every millenial except for Mario.
Market Timer: He popped a bottle of Cabernet that was more expensive than your car payment.

A pleasure, as always, gentlemen.

Sandbox Service Project With The Commodore Family

This past Saturday 8 F3 men and 9 of their 2.0s did a project at the Commodore family house in Indian Land. The family was introduced to us through the Sandbox, who helps families in need of practical, social, and emotional support when their children are suffering from long-term serious illnesses.

For more on the Commodores and their daughter Elsie, click here:

Because Elsie’s condition can only be treated at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, the Commodores split their time between Philadelphia and here, usually with one parent in each location. They have been keeping this up for 11 months now.  Elsie continues to improve and the family is hopeful and grateful… but also emotionally and often physically exhausted from their experience.  They could use some support and that is where we come in.

The Thang:

Meet at the house at 9 a.m. Mulch was delivered and PAX brought other supplies to: spread the mulch, kill weeds, help re-seed the grass in the front yard, and trim up some of the landscaping.  It was awesome to see everybody dive in and with the manpower we had, we knocked the whole thing out in 2 hours.  This included mulching the next door neighbor’s yard because YHC ridiculously over-ordered on mulch!


Toward the end of our project, we were blessed to meet Adana Commodore, Elsie’s Mom. She talked with us and thanked us a lot.  Then she began to share some pictures of Elsie and a lot of detail on her condition.  We circled up and Moneyball led us in prayer, which was awesome.   I’m not the best person to capture the whole experience with words… let’s just say it was an emotional and powerful experience that we as men were blessed to have that day.

Another way in which I personally was inspired Saturday was as a father. Watching the PAX lead their 2.0s in this effort was special and from the attitudes of the kids and their approach to the whole thing, it’s clear to me that my fellow PAX are some good dads.

The feedback I have received since Saturday morning has been exceptional. Apparently Adana had texted with the Sandbox a lot on Saturday from inside while we were working.  From The Sandbox: “… such gratitude and excitement for their new F3 friends… Grateful beyond words.”  I also got a text from Travis, Elsie’s dad, not only with gratitude but his prayers for us as a group and as men and families.

We have all been blessed tremendously by this family who has let us into their lives. We are also blessed as men to be part of this F3 Nation.  The things we can achieve together with the system we have in place are remarkable.  My sincere thanks to the men who came out!

Wait, it’s run heavy workout – from Fuse Box?

23 Pax came out to see if a Clydesdale could actually run a Gazelle style workout.  Much to the amazement of the pax and the Q himself, we all finished without a single incident.  Though there was plenty of mumble chatter and grumbling as usual.  I heard the usual call out from Frack – something about Yoga.  That was the last time I heard from him and the rest of the pax as we were all huffing pretty hard after that.  I will be crawling back into my cave for some hibernation and recovery as well.

We welcomed some new faces – FNG Fat Man; and some old faces – Turtle.  Both Posse and Bottle Cap represented the ACC well last night with convincing wins and showed up to brag about them.



Lap to the front of middle school.  Picked up two pax coming in on two wheels.

30 SSH

15  3-6-9’s

25 T Merkins

10 Potato Pickers



Mosey to hill at front entrance of high school and partner up.

Partner 1: run up hill backwards with 2 burpees at the top.  Partner 2: Merkins at bottom of hill.  3 rounds.

Mosey to front of middle school.

Partner 1: 1 legged step up, 15 each leg.  Partner 2: Heels to Heaven.  2 Rounds.

Partner 1: 1 legged derkin into a 1 legged lunge.  Partner 2: run a lap.  2 Rounds.

Mosey to Transporters Shed

Partner Push to the 2nd light, jog back to start and flap jack.

Inchworm push ups to first light then 5 Carolina Dry docks at each light pole to the end.

Merry at the start for abs: American Hammer, Heels to Heaven, WWII Sit Up’s



Another great group of guys today.  Thanks to Foundation for asking me to lead even after I asked “are you sure, I’m already teaching Friday and Thursday?”.

I set out to prove some folks wrong today – most notably myself.  I wanted to see if I could not only complete a Gazelle style workout, but lead one.  My apologies to my fellow Clydesdales, I will return back to regular form following up the rear again soon.

Bottle Cap EH’ed a new FNG out.  Welcome to Fat Man who gets his name both because his last name is Marvel, and his business competes with FatMan plumbing.

Welcome back out to Turtle.  We didn’t get a chance to meet, but it sounds like you have lots of dirt on some of these guys (or maybe its the other way around?) so hopefully you will be back out to share some of that wisdom.

Posse made it out even though he was sick.  It was apparent that he was under the weather from the start, though originally I just thought he was up late celebrating the Clemson blow out of Auburn (ACC! ACC!).  I myself was celebrating as well – an early exit for UNC.

Speaking of UNC – I somehow managed to lead a workout with both Carolina Dry Docks and Heels to Heaven in the same workout.  My Wolfpack brethren would be so ashamed.  I will do better next time.

Frack started out the partner push strong so I had to lock down and make him work.  He stopped at the first light and then realized he was only half way.  The final push was pretty weak.  I may have actually wore down the infamous Frack.  I will pause for his rebuttal that will most likely be filled with insults challenging my manhood and will leave me speechless and shocked.

Hannie’s VQ at Kevlar

(Written by Fault Line on behalf of Hannie)
Pretty excited to get some new younger talent leading Kevlar. Orange Whip had prepped Hannie earlier in the week so we knew he was ready to go. Unfortunately OW would miss it because he went back to his ex-girlfriend Joust, for one more tryst. Whatevs…
Upon arrival I see Hannie and the Covenant Day XC team stretching in the parking lot (as it’s become a familiar ritual). He was pacing a bit and forgot who I was, but that’s okay…I look like just another Dad trying to hold on to his youth. So it was me and Cottontail and 10 Covenant Day students and faculty. And with a quick and mediocre disclaimer….off we went. Below is what Hannie provided for the BB. My personal commentary in (italics):
Friday’s bright and early VQ started with a quick COD (he meant COP…or he’s spending too much time ordering merchandise from TV ads) of merkins, SSH, squats, and LBCs. (Pretty solid cadence count, one slip up, more of a caesura “pause” really. Oh and he forgot to mention 10 burpees OYO). 
Partner wheelbarrowed across the Cov Day track field (The goal was 4 lengths, we barely got in two…)
 Ran (around the campus) and lunged to the lifting stones where we performed 40 shoulder presses and 10 LSS (Low Slow Squat) holding the stones.
Moseyed over to the neighborhood across (51) from the tennis courts where we did a round of 7’s up the hill (burpees at bottom, jump squats at top) followed by planking exercises.
Retracing our steps, we arrived at the lifting stones where we did another 40 shoulder presses.
We ran back to the school where we did some wall sits (with air presses), slo-mo merkins, more LBCs, Russian twists, and old school sit ups.
We finished the morning off with some all-out sprints across the field with a buy in of merkins or squats. (5 merkins rd1, 10 merkins rd 2, 15 merkins rd 3, 20 squats rd 4 before sprint) (Definitely a great way to end the workout…lots of chatter and spirit out there)
It was a solid workout and VQ by Hannie. We hit most of the AO, worked different muscles and got in some cardio. We seemed to have lost some Kevlar regulars, might be the new rival workout Cerberus (which is like 10 miles away on Providence somewhere, lots of traffic) or maybe they’re just intimidated by all the new young guys at Kevlar. Speaking of which our FNG was none other than Hannie’s 16 year old younger brother who we named Cliffhanger. As long as we have a strong dozen out there, we’re good. But with the warmer weather, the workouts will be tough, come join us. Thank you to Cottontail for the takeout prayer.