The not exactly Keats Thrive backblast

The not exactly Keats Thrive backblast

Twas five thirty in the morning

at Carolina Courts’ Thrive,

the Pax were still waiting

For the Q to arrive.

Alas, now it was clear Madison had fart-sacked.

So co-site Qs took charge of the Pax,

On Hoffa, on Gypsy and Hairband, and even Glass Joe

Time to get to work, including some bomb jacks.

While the Q was all snuggled, warm in his bed

and visions of sugar plums danced in his head,

The Pax did suicides, flutters and many burpees,

plus Merkins, 7s, bicycles, even LBCs.

The moral of the story

Everyone should now know,

Don’t brag on your Weinke

If you’re going to no-show.

Background:

Monday evening Madison tweeted and posted on Union County F3 FB page dire warnings of how devastating Thrive would be the following morning with him as Q.  His Weinke supposedly would make grown men cry and blow away any ‘moderate’ limitations of Thrive.  Or something like that.  Good thing Madison is a stand-up guy and can ‘take it’ because as you now know by the awesome poetry above, he fartsacked.  Several “explanations” (excuses) followed concerning the alarm on his iPhone being set to the wrong day or something.  But he summed it up well when he said “I’m never going to hear the end of this”.  He’s right.

The Thang:

So at 0530 Bernanke (co-site Q) said “let’s mosey!”  As we mosied around the parking lot, Bernanke asked Nomad (other co-site Q) how do you want handle this?  I suggested he lead the COP, meanwhile I would plan and lead the next evolution.  We would flap-jack evolutions until time expired.  Sometimes you have the luxury of time and can develop detailed, intricate plans that  actually work like General Schwartzkopf and the ‘Left Hook’ and the ‘Shock and Awe’ air campaign in Desert Storm.  And sometimes you have to ad-lib on the fly and adhere to KISS.

COP

Hillbillies X 21

Windmills X 14

5 Burpees (OYO)

Arm circles (10 each direction)

Hand release Merkins X 10

Mosey to the road for Island Suicides:  run to each island/archipelago/isthmus/geological feature and back.  At each island, stop for in order, 20 each LBCs, dollys, flutters and bicycles.

Over to the frost-covered hill for a round of 7s:  bomb-jacks and squats.  But regular running would be too easy – uphill portion was run backwards.

Mosey down to the soccer field to cross it length-wise.  1/3 via bear-crawl, 1/3 via lunges and the final 1/3 via crab walk.

Mosey up to the road.  At each succeeding Hairband (short) light pole do the following number of merkins:  25, 20, 15, 10 and 5.

Extended mosey around the building back to the shelter area of the park interspersed with karaoke left and right, butt kickers and running backwards.  At the picnic tables do 20 step ups (10 leading each leg) and 15 dips.  I meant to say dips but inadvertently said merkins.  Given the earlier merkin-fest, there was loud #mumblechatter  and groaning by the PAX.  I corrected myself but the thought did cross my mind to let the merkins order stand.  But I succumbed to a rare moment of charity.  I felt kinda dirty about it.  The over to the wall to relax in the people’s chair.  While there, two rounds of air presses, 50 and 100.

The Pax seemed relieved when I turned the Q back to Bernanke assuming we were done with the (evil) wall.  But Bernanke had other plans:  2 rounds of balls to the wall (including a non-sequential 10-count by Shake N Bake while we were inverted), 20 donkey kicks and 5 burpees just for giggles.

Mosey back to the parking lot for Mary:

backscratchers

dying cockroach

rosalita

America hammer

Moleskin:

I know 15 PAX were present.  But I am remembering only 14 of the 15.  So apologies to ever’s name is escaping me at the moment.  Actually, for a #Respect, I am kinda proud I got 14.  The 3 sure signs of getting older:  1. memory loss, and what were the other two again?  (Edit:  #15 has been added!)

TClaps to Hairband for taking us out.  Comments began to fly immediately about the grief that was to be dished out to Madison.  And then a lone voice of wisdom reminded us we should first ensure that Madison is OK before we assume he just fartsacked.  Gypsy had his phone out and established contact with Madison.  Madison responded which was a mistake.  He was OK.  Open season.

TClaps also to Shake N Bake and Glass Joe for joining me on a pleasant 3.6 mile pre-run before the frivolity ensued.

Thrive is a great group of men and it’s an honor to be a part of them/us.  But we are men – the jokes/comments are often (almost always?) sophomoric.  There is much #mumblechatter directed at everyone.  You better have thick skin because everyone gets their share of incoming fire.  You gotta take it as well as dish it out. Good thing Madison can take it.

Madison has requested to Q Thrive next week.  That’s great.  But Bernanke and I will have a back-up Weinke prepared this time.  Just in case.  Ya know, those iPhone alarms can be tricky.