An Intervention of Agony

An Intervention of Agony

Agony,

Bro, we need to talk. We are all concerned with how far you have fallen. Most of us think you are actually a homeless person (Are you actually homeless?). No one with a house and access to a shower and shampoo and a washer/dryer on a daily basis smells as bad as your shirts. The Donut Run can longer stay silent. We must talk openly and honestly about how this makes us feel and how this is hurting you. Here are 6 ways it is hurting you:

1. Isolation: No one wants to run with you. Even Kirk had to stop running with you and drop back with others to just “get away”. Or eat with you. Or hangout with you. Or even text you for fear the smell will somehow travel digitally.
2. Emotional Distress of Others: On Wednesday, every member of the pax was in tears after you joined us in the BOM for prayer. The stench literally brought tears to our eyes.
3. Spiritual Uncleanliness: Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Please clothe yourself in cleanliness and not stenchiness.
4. Marital Strife: No way your M can continue to stay with you like this. Vile smells is grounds for a biblical divorce.
5. Material Crumblings: The front seat of your car has been half eaten away by the massive smells. Pretty soon you will have to drive Fred Flintstone style.
6. Earthly Groans: The earth groans under the weight of the odor. What do you think the real cause of Harvey and Irma was??

I found this blog to offer some helpful solutions: http://yousmellstank.blogspot.com/

We do this because we love you. And also because Dunkin Donuts will not let us inside if you are within 500ft of us. Smell better for us. Smell better for the Donuts.

Take out through tears by BW