Chugging up some god awful hill during the Cuda run Chelms casually asks if I can Q Horsey Monday. Uh, sure, but shouldn’t somebody lead Horsey who can actually LEAD Horsey. Have you seen me out there??? I generally hang out mid-way to the back at best. Chelms quickly tells me he actually has two feelers out for other Qs and will only resort to me if he is totally desperate. Well, ok then. Can’t turn down an offer like that.
So, Sunday night and I am asking myself how I can lead this crew when I can’t see most of them during the workout. Hmmm…. “Lead from Behind” was a thing a few years back, right? Something out of Harvard Business School so it MUST be legit. That’s right, now I remember. Just a quick call up to Foggy Bottom and I should be set.
Me: Hello, I need Rex
Me: Rex! You know, the SECRETARY!
Operator: Sorry sir, he is a little busy right now. You have heard there are a few things going on right now right?
Me: Uh… yes, but this is important. I need to learn to Lead from Behind and I hear you are the guys to teach me.
Operator: Sorry sir, that is SO last administration. These days its all about MAGA!!!
Me: Hmmm… MAGA doesn’t really fit with my theme ma’am.
Operator: Well, how about America First?
Me: Well — -not really. These guys I work out with are all about being third or something like that.
Operator: THIRD!!!??? Our boss calls third the second loser.
Me: Yeah, well I don’t think he would quite get it. So, no more “Lead from Behind” experts up there anymore???
Me: Alright, I’ll try elsewhere. Thanks for the effort and good luck with the world and all that.
Hang up the phone and hit the Bing search engine. Yes — Bing! Boycotting Google for obvious reasons. The utter uselessnes of Bing, however, completely disintegrates my principled stand. Back on “Don’t be Evil” bandwagon and quickly find what I am looking for.
Behold — the Alpha Stallion. Herds of horses (yes HORSES, what could be better?) are lead by an Alpha Stallion. And guess what? He leads them FROM BEHIND. Oh yeah. That works. The Alpha Stallion might even bite a beta horse or two just to keep them in line. So consider yourself lucky if I didn’t bite your beta horse self this morning. Seriously look this up and feel free to call me Alpha Stallion from now on.
Oh, and we ran 6-7 miles in a figure eight pattern. Boom!
That is all.
Spooky Jon (your Alpha Stallion)
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