Speed For NeighD Visits HoMcHoA

  • When:06/19/17
  • QIC: JRR Tolkien (QIC)
  • The PAX: JRR Tolkien (QIC), Stinger, Thin Slice, Chelms aka Tatertot (R), Blackjack-Slimjack, Geraldo, Voodoo, Fishwrap, Belly Itcher, Federalist, Tweetsie, Nash, Ann & Hope, Rachel, Funky Cold, Mr Brady


Speed For NeighD Visits HoMcHoA

YHC understands, the only requirement to Q Horsey is to write a inappropriate sick backblast. Ok cool.

SUMMARY

16 Stallions, only one of them Black (Jack), had their @$$ handed to them temperature taken (see video) by the hills of Horsey-McHorseArse.  Nothing like a heat check where the sun isn’t shining to wake you up at 0515.  Fun Fact: Did you know a horse’s temperature is 38 degrees? If not, you didn’t watch the fine viral educational video long enough. When it was all said and done, each PAX did roughly 22 hill repeats, climbed 1,000+ vertical feet in ~6 miles, while popping the CHAIRy of the new SPEEDFORNEED Racing Chariot in it’s virgin workout.  For the third week in a row, there was no sign of Chester, as the PAX were unmolested running up and down the calm streets of Wilby Drive. Speaking of Chester, has someone tried to EH that dude before? Today YHC could have given him the best/worst name in all of F3. Chester the Moles… nevermind.  We’d just go second derivative on the naming like Dredd likes to do and call that man ‘Cosby’ to make it sound more politically correct.  Kind of like how we renamed ‘Horny’ to ‘Horn‘, only different.  Throw that man a puddin pop!  Getting off track… here’s what we did…

THE THANG

Itcher nearly caused a revolt last week by running a bootcamp on HoMcHoA which has been advertised as an exclusively running workout. So YHC needed to restore order at 0515, in the form of running hill repeats, 5X up and down each hill of the course, with PAX alternating pushing a #SFN Chariot loaded with 40lbs of weight up and down each hill. 0607 group photo, 0608 pledge of allegiance, 0609 AYG up the first hill 2 last times, 0612 head back to launch, 0615 another group selfie (this time w/ F3’s media model Stinger), FINITO!

NEKKID MOLEY

Plenty of ballerz today at HoMcHoA, but absent were two of the F3’s finest. Foulball didn’t show because he committed to some 45min workout aimed at EH’ing the lap swimmers at the Dowd (referring to the swimming pool, not Pee-Wee’s-Whirlpool in locker room #PWW).  Last year’s HoMcHoA 10K champ Fahvra realized more guys are competitive racing to a finish line, but it’s not a race everyone wants to win to be the first to touch a manhole (cover), so he stayed in his new hood Fort Mill.

Everyone today worked like a horse, and Nash was no exception.  The dude may look like a quarterhorse, ok, too big…. a miniature Shetland pony (with 8-pack abs), but Nash can push a chariot like a Belgian Draft Horse.  Like a horse, Funky Cold hung with the group and it was impressive to say the least.  After three weeks of competition FishwrapBelly Itcher, and Rachel have each won a leg of the triple crown with their amazing breakaway speed at HoMcHoA. Any couple in line at “the bank” wanting genetics to birth a fast kid might consider hooking up with these stallions… but like all horse racing winners, with each victory the cost to bang them just went up.  Not to mention they’re all married, or possibly geldings at this point.  Another bad joke, there will be more…moving on.

There was a mistaken moment of divine intervention today when a neighbor saw a cripple get out of his wheelchair and push it up the Yucca Succa … but it was just Mr Brady, now ringing out his soaking wet green and white tank-top on her lawn.  Then there was Voodoo who can not be influenced. When he says NO, he means it. Recorded conversation…

  • JRR Tolkien – “Hey Voodoo wanna push a chariot up a hill”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “How bout now?”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “Now?”
  • Voodoo – “Ok”

YHC wonders how many times it took asking Voodoo to be a college cheerleader? Hopefully more than #3.  Federalist looked to be having a blast in the chariot today.  Dude was seen being pushed up the hill by Ann&Hope while balancing a pair of fidget spinners on his areolas like he was a airplane with two propellers pointed to the sky.  Stinger showed he learned a whole lot of nothing from Q-source yesterday where we discussed Candor (definition = Graciously Telling The Hard Truth & Demanding to Hear It From Others) as he taunted Thin Slice about being slow while running backwards up the hill #Bluntness.  YHC would have at least picked on Slice for his John Leguizamo stache.  The Calvary food pantry drive was last week, and Tolkien & Chelms brought Asian rice (Tolkien: WiceWrand Brand) and American rice (Chelms: Riceland Brand), same thing different packaging, to feed the hungry. This week, the shirtless Nash, Thin Slice, and Belly Itcher each brought a pair of tomato slices, and Tweetsie, Chelms, and Geraldo brought a pair of saba melons, all of which were not on the pantry’s approved list #putyourshirtsbackon.  Tweetsie be diggin the hills, or he’s got a thing for animals. The only two workouts YHC has seen him post at is Mountain Goat and Horsey. He was also seen chasing down a Panda today.  Anyone notice Blackjack-Slimjack recent weight-loss and new found speed? Here’s the secret…store a gulp of RedMan, Kodiak, Skoal tobacco dip in your mouth at all times making everything taste like crap and restrict your breathing when running.  Some athletes would use a Training Mask, but if you want real gainz… TOBACCO DIP. Right Fish? Wow that was bad… but hey YHC tried.

SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SPEEDFORNEED chairs are in and we are looking for heavy participation in our Inaugural race, The American 4miler Race in Dilworth on Independence Day 7/4 where Nash will be pushing his 2.0 son Owen in the race (we’ll all be running together). Check out movie trailer video and PreBlast for American 4Miler SFN Race You have until TOMORROW *6/21* to guarantee a race shirt for your entry, so sign up TODAY!  Metro convergence at 0600-0700 followed by race at 0730

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Chelms aka Tatertot
6 years ago

If Mr Brady did take a ride then it may have been the one and only time out for the chair. Mr. Brady’s Dolphin is sweating profusely and no amount of vinegar will get the smell out.

PS – I couldn’t watch the video to the end. That is just nasty.

JRR Tolkien
JRR Tolkien
Reply to  Chelms aka Tatertot
6 years ago

Maybe I misunderstood the type of backblast you were looking for in the requirements… whoops

Voodoo
6 years ago

Great Q with a questionable backblast, Tolkien. However, you were right that I eventually caved to your nagging and pushed the chariot. I feel sorry for your M…

Thanks for leading yesterday and co-leading the SFN initiative. Good luck at the American 4 miler. Unfortunately, I’ll be DR.

JRR Tolkien
JRR Tolkien
Reply to  Voodoo
6 years ago

Questionable is generous… and I feel sorry for my M too. But thanks for being a good sport.

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