At Least 3 Miles & No Burpees

At Least 3 Miles & No Burpees

Went through some old BBs this week to get a feel for what YHC might want to bring to the crowd at RockZero. Found one by Site Q Boerwors who mentioned the good old days at The Rock of a minimum 3 miles and no burpees so I ran with that.

Thang

• Mosey past the scene of the crime (see below) and around towards front entrance of Calvary for COP (and much mumblechatter)
  • 15 SSH IC, 15 IW IC, 10 Paused Jump Squats, 10 Merkins IC, 10 Low Plank Jack IC
• Faster mosey across 51 and into Five Knolls the short way via Clavemorr, straight to LC (a monster of a hill at the intersection of Five Knolls Dr and Macdara Glenn Ct)
  • 3 times down and up LC, 10 diamond and 10 regular merkins at the bottom, 10 wide-arm merkins at the top
  • Mary while we wait for the 6
• Head back the way we came to the front entrance of Calvary
• Grab a lifting rock and mosey to the long lot with 7 islands for the following
  • Carry rock to the 1st island, 10 Curl & Press, 10 Tricep, drop the rock and run around the remaining 6 islands to return to your rock and carry to the next island
  • Continue until you reach the last island (run is shorter each time)
  • Mary to recover
• About face and pick up your rock, mosey/lunge walk back switching at every island
• Return rocks to the pile and grab some wall for People’s Donkey Balls
  • People’s chair (RLH, LLH), 10 donkey kicks, BTW for a 10-count, repeat
• Mosey back around church to the driveway between the hot box and the playground and partner up.
  • P1 to the hot box for 10 dips, 10 jump ups
  • P2 to the playground for 10 pull-ups
  • Meet in the middle, 5 handslap merkins, flapjack
  • Each partner does each side twice
• Mosey back to the end of the lot facing our cars, plank in 6 inches for a Flipper 10 count, on 0 give it all you got left back to the cars
• COT, FNG-naming, Flipper with the take-out

Moleskin

We were originally going to take one trip up LC for everyone who did not bring rice for the Calvary Food Collection (minus the 4 extras that YHC brought thinking that would be enough to bring us back down to 3). Luckily, I forgot to ask for rice beforehand. We would probably still be running LC dodging rivers of merlot considering everyone who forgot to bring a bag. You all know who you are (all of you. No, really, it was ALL of you). Lesson learned: Twitter is dead, should’ve used Slack. Luckily, you all have another shot at this next week with Flipper on Q for his 3 Year Anniversary. This time he promises everyone will do 5 burpees after COT for each missing bag of rice. (More on RockZero’s big week next week in the announcement).

The buzz this morning was about the mashed up security truck in the next lot over. Was it sinful teenage joy-riders who took the truck for a spin last night? Perhaps some kind of alcohol fueled hit-and-run incident? An angry Hoover hurling 45lb plates like a discus? Naturally, we moseyed by to satisfy our curiosity and, nope, turns out it was a new security guard who drove into a lightpole (or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what Marlin said he found out). Someone commented he must now be the old security guard. A little bit of a let-down, but luckily we were on our way to the one thing that never lets me down — LC.

Gummy and Semi attempted a revolt as we cut left into Five Knolls. It may have succeeded, but Gummy was already out of breath from complaining so much in COP that he couldn’t put a coherent sentence together. Probably why he got his butt whooped by Marlin on the hills who, wise as he is, didn’t say one full sentence all morning and saved his lungs for the workout. Checkpoint mentioned on the way that he had never been back here before. YHC and SG were quick to tell him he would never forget it although we disagreed on whether that would be because he loved it or hated it. From the way he slayed the hill and beat us all to the finish line, I would say it was the former. Not surprisingly, Checkpoint also toasted us all during the rock/sprint set.  Balls to the Wall was a total fail (that ledge on the wall would have been great for hip slappers), but it was so much fun hearing Flipper complain about being dizzy that we went a second round.

A few guys got EC today (and not because they brought rice — see above). Nemo, Flipper and Hoover did a pre-run this morning and Nemo was still tearing it up in every running portion. YHC got him on the hill, but couldn’t keep up in the rock sprints and both Nemo and Ingalls beat us all in the final sprint (although the best part of that was Hoover giving McGee a run for his money for 3rd place). Someone needs to start talking Nemo into a BRR debut. And, speaking of BRR, Teddy was there today. Must have heard it was BRR season (or gotten wind of what Tiger Rag has been saying about him behind his back). We got the hill training started right and, according to the unwritten Free Range team rules, Teddy earned himself another week on the roster.

Other than our FNG, Big Country was the only new face to me today and he killed it the whole workout. Great meeting you and hope to post with you again soon. I left a little bit of mayhem in my rearview as I hustled out of the parking lot to get to a family photo shoot. McGee was in the corner banging out burpees while Flipper scrambled around the base of Northface looking for a stone tablet on which to inscribe the Q rules of the new RockZero before he forgets them. Our FNG, Ingalls, was scratching his head and searching his phone to figure out what in the heck Ingalls actually meant #youngbuck (home-schooled — as in Laura Ingalls Wilder — yeah, took me a while to get it too but the old men seemed to like it). Nemo, ever the friend, was standing beside Ingalls helping him search flicking his ear and taunting him about how he beat him at everything this morning.

Turning the corner I drove alongside Semigloss for a minute as he checked all the locked doors on the church crying out in haiku “But I did the miles, so there should be donuts here, Bushwood has failed me”. Almost to the exit, I passed the tumbleweeds blowing through HighT and Hoover who, after running a 10K and only lifting a rock, was frantically slinging iron and mumbling to himself about soccer arms. Just a regular Saturday at RockZero.

I had a great time this morning and look forward to coming back. Don’t usually do the 7AM thing, but may have to start making an exception. Thanks to Flipper for the invite. And, in all seriousness, consider checking out HighT sometime. We could all use a little more brute strength (believe it or not, it can even make you run better) and, from what I hear, Hoover is about as good a teacher as you can ask for.

Announcements

• Geraldo mentioned a GoRuck Red, Light & Blue event that Team Spearhead will be doing this summer. Recording screwed up so I don’t have the date, but is a 2 day event for a good cause that finished with a GoRuck Light. See Geraldo for more details.
• RockZero is relaunching with a new format. Flipper has (ALL) the details, but next week (the 17th) will be a big kick-off and convergence with High T. Flipper has the Q for his 3-year anniversary and promises this is one you should not miss. If you’re curious about High T, this is your chance to check it out for 30 minutes.
• If there were any more announcements, I forgot them so please sound off below.