I heard no one was on Q for Thrive so I reached out to Nomad who told me first to ask means I’ve got it. Awesome. I claim it and immediately the normal FB whiners start to complain that there will be too much running and their ovaries are already starting to hurt. I promise it will all be well by 6:15. Pretty sure BW planned to be late just so we could do ‘The Bullwinkle’ (a set of 5 burpee penalties due to him being late). Pretty sure I’m not playing by those rules.
Guys start to arrive. The Respects used the paper maps in their cars to find the place. Bernanke keeps pretending he’s not a Respect. Bullwinkle is nowhere to be found. Even Hoffa makes it on time. And there is a FNG. Our resident street sleeper is asleep in his truck right beside an area I had planned to take us. Hmmmm, this could get interesting and/or awkward. Off we go.
Quick mosey around the parking lot.
SSH IC x25
IW IC x20 (Bullwinkle suddenly pulls up).
Bombjacks x20 penalty for BWs lateness (not playing by anyone else’s rules so I forgo ‘The Bullwinkle’ for a different source of punishment)
Windmills IC x10 (Shepherd whines about the speed or his back, or his lower legs or something at least)
Mosey to the side road.
I had planned to do a variation of 10 burpees at the odd islands and 20 bombjacks at the even islands. BUT, we have our sleeping friend right beside island #1. Time to do something ad hoc.
At the 1st/3rd islands, Monkey Humpers x20 (Make sure you are pointed towards our sleeping friend’s truck)
2nd/4th islands, Bombjacks x20
Plank at the stop sign while we gather and various plank exercises
Mosey to the Hill for Hills of Sevens:
Round 1: Backwards Run up the hill, Bombjacks at Top, Burpees at Bottom. Rosalitas IC x30 while we gather.
Round 2: Bear Crawl Down the Hill, Merkins at Bottom, Crab Walk up the hill, LBCs at top
During this, I realize I may be a little tight on time so time for Ad Hoc. I call us to mosey to the side of the very long field.
In honor of Countertop who has become a myth at this point, we are all going to run for a 5 count, drop to the ground, Army crawl for 10 count, repeato across the field.
Now, we have to get back across the very long field but let’s switch it up a little. Run for 10 count, drop to the ground, Army crawl for 5 count.
Planking exercises while we gather.
Oh, we have more time than I thought so back to the hill
Backwards Run Up the Hill, Flutters at top, Lunge Walk down the hill, Squats at bottom
Now we mosey back to the field but just going across the shorter way this time.
Up/Downs – Sprint and then I’ll call Down and we all drop down. Once everyone is down, I call up and we bounce up and sprint again. Repeato across the field.
Mosey to the wall.
Airpresses x 50
Arms Straight Out Hold x 100 count
Mosey back to the parking lot
Dolly IC x51 (bunch of pansies whining about this)
Rosalita IC x30
Thx to HB for taking us out in a strong prayer
– Where do I begin with this one?
1) We did monkey humpers in front of a guy sleeping on the job
2) The Bullwinkle penalty was ignored so Bullwinkle gets no satisfaction from being late but still caused the rest of us a penalty
3) Lots of whining on the Bear Crawl/Crab Walk piece. Pretty sure Bernanke said his pulled uterus wouldn’t allow him to crab walk. Might have been about his back. Not sure so I’ll go with a pulled uterus.
– Lamont brought up a great point that you should never be at the back of a 19 man pile of monkey humpers. Good call Brother
– We had a new FNG who joined this hot mess. Mike T and we nicknamed him eHarmony. Why? Because he gave us the line ‘I found you guys online.’ Christian Mingle and Farmers Only were missed opportunities. Either way, great job pushing through and glad you joined us. Keep posting!!!
– Saw lots of guys sweating and didn’t hear a ton of chatter. Other than me. And Bullwinkle some.
– Bullwinkle claimed the day before he would Q Jack. Better luck next time.
– Got to the end of the Arms Straight Out x100 count and saw a few guys stand up. As if the Q had said recover. Q said no such thing. Back on the wall boys.
– Dolly IC xInfinity is always awesome. Lots of groans, a ‘YES’ or two, and not enough legs still going at 40. Maybe your Ms could teach you some endurance.
– We had lots of guys and at first the circle for prayer was too large. Hairband couldn’t put his arms around the guys beside him. Being the thoughtful guys we are, we tightened up the circle so his 6 inch long arms could be accommodated. #obligatoryshortjoke
– Great work by everyone. The humidity has set in, the sweat was flowing and good work got done.
Think I’ve mocked most of you. Appreciate you letting me lead.
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