Well, If YHC had one movie quote to describe The Brave workout Friday, it would be:
“We’re gonna need a BIGGER
BOAT DECK!” – Movie JAWS …. (that’s what she said).
Thursday night, YHC didn’t get much sleep… WEIRD dream after WEIRD dream kept on popping into my head, with one of the stranger being a memory of YHC’s ancestors from China, who coincidentally had the same names as the pilots in the Asiana Flight 214 Crash last year… check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1JYHNX8pdo . Call YHC superstitious but this dream meant something… but what? Then a great beautiful cuddly and intelligent Panda appeared to Tolkien in the next dream to translate…. The Great Panda (we’ll call him “Po” #KungFuPanda) said, “Little Panda, if only 2 PAX show up to your Brave Q after all marketing efforts, the numbers will be ‘Wi Tu Lo’. If Fireman Ed can’t get enough oxygen in the stairwell, he will fall down the stairs and you will hear many ‘Bang Ding Ow’. If you don’t mark the course off with orange cones there may be ‘Sum Ting Wong‘, and if more than 30 PAX show you will be screaming ‘Ho Lee Fuk‘ in disbelief…
The next morning… 33, yes THIRTY-THREE men of F3 Nation from 7, yes SEVEN, different areas (SOB / A51 / Indian Land / Union County / The Fort / Metro / MECA) traveled down to Ballantyne for The Brave Muthaship Simulation Parking Deck AMRAP workout and and shirtless JRR Tolkien could be heard for miles screaming his great Uncle’s name at the top of his might “HO LEE FUK!!!“… just as the Great Panda had forewarned. (Yes, YHC is an idiot… but please read on)
Honestly, YHC had no clue how many men would post to this kind of workout… a parking deck AMRAP with nothing but elevation, right before the holidays. But, YHC DID know, that whomever did post would serve themselves a self-inflicted beatdown and walk away a better man for it. So whether it was to pay your respects to the Muthaship workout (R.I.P.) that died 6 months ago, because you came for the “Tolkien Pity Party” as Voodoo labeled it, were a Brave regular, or took the pre-blast (http://f3nation.com/2016/12/20/the-brave-preblast-how-mentally-tough-are-you/ ) to heart and wanted to prove to yourself your Mental Toughness level was high, it was great to have you this morning, and YHC truly appreciates your attendance and the support today.
One last thought… then on to the shenanigans. The Brave workout is designed to be THE toughest SOB workout, heck many claim it’s one of the Top 5 toughest workouts in all of F3 Nation, and you’ll hear no disagreement from YHC here. But what really makes a workout tough is not the AO, Q, region, etc. It’s your individual ability to push yourself to the limit when it’s that time… which requires, the theme for the week, MENTAL TOUGNESS. Truth is, we all HAVE to be mentally tough to do F3. It starts with waking up a ~4:15am in the morning to deliberately work out in the rain & cold when 99% of everyone else on the East Coast is sleeping. To be completely out of shape, and not give a $h!t that others may be obviously thinner, faster, or stronger, but to know that YOU will be like that person if you keep up the hard work. To step up and lead other men first at a workout, then a site-Q, organize a coat drive, a road race to end addiction, collect hundreds of turkeys to hand out to the community, or raise money and collect toys for charity. Or in COT to humble yourself before GOD in front of other men, and pray that he will use us to do his good will. So the question of “How mentally tough are you?” was already answered in my mind be fore the workout even started… we men of F3 Nation are ALREADY MENTALLY TOUGH!
This time, we’ll run this SOLO
1) 5:15am START: 25 chest-to-ground burpees in Vine parking lot
2) Sprint to lowest level of Ballantyne Village Parking Deck : 40 Hip Slappers (20 each side)
3) Run all levels up to top of deck alternating BACKWARDS RUN FIRST on first ramp, then FORWARDS RUN on next.
4) Down the staircase on the LEFT (farthest from Movies), and CLIMB DOWN & UP STAIRS 3X (210 steps = 12 flights) – use the OUTSIDE lane going UP, and INSIDE lane going down
5) At top of the deck: perform 5 BURPEES + CRAB WALK the straightaway + 5 BURPEES (head towards the stairwell closest to the movies)
6) Down the staircase on the LEFT (closest to Movies), and CLIMB DOWN & UP STAIRS 3X (210 steps = 12 flights) – use the OUTSIDE lane going UP, and INSIDE lane going down
7) Back down staircase to the bottom, run to the TOP of the grassy hill you initially ran down and start step #2 again. That’s 1 Lap… how many can you complete? #REPEATO #AMRAP #YOUvsYOU
8) 6:12am – stop wherever you are and head back to The Vine parking lot for COT, and Virtual Trophy Award presentation.
That’s a wrap! Everyone got in 4-5 laps of this behemoth which would amount to 100+ levels of stair climbing and backwards running. Then add in two of the most un-cheatable hardest exercises in crab-walks and elevated hip-slappers. VT# goes to Thin Mint with a close 2nd Fishwrap… although both are too modest to tell us who really won, and no-one else was in sight either. Most everyone got to cross each other on the course today, and while it was a lactic acid leg party, there was time for good fellowship and no-one was left behind. A few musings:
BONUS…HOLIDAY HATE MAIL:
Bunker said his vagina
foot was swollen from three days of posting and also needed to shave it … his HEAD you sickos! YHC understands because one of those was a 45min boot camp, so his non-muscles were probably in total shock. Since Bunker wasn’t there, naturally Tuck didn’t show #solidarity. There would have been excessive screeching, scratching, and slapping going on in the Mr. Bean vs Strawberry matchup, but neither could agree to the location of the showdown, Bean wanting it in his fartsack and Strawberry wanting it at a FIA AO. After HC, Haggis decided he’d play Uncle Scrooge and said BAH HUMBUG! to The Brave despite living less than 800 meters from the parking deck. He was later seen doing derkins on the second floor of the Sara’s YMCA in his native kilt showing his ‘Stone Man Rocks’. Goonie scared the $h!t out of the chatty Gump on Slack telling him The Brave was the toughest workouts he’s ever experienced, which caused Gump to skip town and impromptu vacation with the self-proclaimed “slow and chunky”, SOB Nantan, who works at a major accounting firm starting with P and ending in WC, who raises chickens & HATES AMRAPs, who is terrified of snakes, and who for privacy reasons will remain confidential and unnamed. Anyone been to a famous wax museum lately? Dolphin was asked to post, and YHC thought he just might… but in the last minute committed to his go-to holiday workout, 12 Days of Christmas Eating. Another old fart, Frehley’s Comet, is normally a regular at The Brave, but thankfully he was not present today… after all… can you imagine what the stairwells would have smelled like had he been there #gaschamber #deadbodieseverywhere.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your families. God Bless F3 Nation! It’s been a great year getting to know ALL of you better and looking forward to a greater 2017. If you would like YHC to Q a workout at your site, even if not SOB, hit me up! That will be a goal for 2017 to connect with more PAX across different regions.
Sound off with any omissions/corrections although the accuracy of this backlist should be spot on.
SYITG ~J.R.R. Tolkien
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