It’s not going in our yard, Russ.

It’s not going in our yard, Russ.

11 men gathered in an elementary school parking lot on an it-feels-colder-than-the-thermometer-said kind of morning. NBD, we’re taking off quickly to get warmed up. No, wait, here comes Floor Slapper. Pause at the school entrance for half-hearted SSH and mountain climbers. Here comes somebody else. Should we wait? The car had a FIA sticker. Do they meet here? Would it be creepy if we waited? Let’s go. Quick right out of the school, then another right down the road there into the neighborhood (Puddin’ Pop can provide road names if you need them). Slight pause at the turn to wait again – oh, that’s just Floor Slapper, somehow 50 yards behind the group on a 50 yard run. Down to the bottom of the hill where, finally, Puddin’ Pop came in with the late arriver, Slice.

Run back up the hill to the first speed hump, 5 HR merkins. Back down to the start. 5 squat jumps. Repeat up to the second road hump, then all the way to Rea. Spackler was out front, but muttered “a little aggressive” when he passed me at the Rea turnaround. Hannibal appreciated that we had we already had 2 miles behind us, less than 20 minutes in. Maybe “appreciated” isn’t the right word.

After a brief Mary recovery, gather at the end of the road there, then AYG to the end of the road where it dead ends into the other road (.25 miles). Another bit of Mary, then slow mosey up the road to the road with the hill that starts with “Fox”. Triple Nickle on said hill with CDDs at the top, squat jumps at the bottom.

A little more Mary, then slow mosey on the trail through the woods (disclaimer). Find a partner that you don’t know well. One partner planks and holds the other’s feet for 20 old school situps, then flapjack. Yog up to the picnic tables for 10 derkins, 15 dips, repeat. Over to the front field for a handful of all-you-care-to-give sprints. Done.

3.5 miles total. We didn’t do Champagne-level merkins, but we worked in enough upper body stuff to make me tired. Speaking of Champagne, his date with Squid at The Lodge must’ve gone late since he was a no-show. #VoodooCommit. Hannibal was looking fresh in his camo pants – does Hops know you have his pants?

We have a naming issue with Pele – he was named in Metro, but works out in the Southland where we already have a Pele. A small group gathered after the workout to discuss referring to him henceforth as “Pele 2 – Electric Boogaloo”. Here, take a few minutes to watch the Dance Combat scene. You’re welcome.