Broken Viking

If memory serves (and it rarely does) the last time I was at Skunk Works, Witch Doctor played the 12 days of Christmas for an hour straight and then I left F3 for about 4 months. That’s what that horrible song (and an “overactive thyroid”) will do to you. A sad clown home KB workout a couple of months back left me blistered of hand and taut of hamstring for about a week so, with the BRR a mere 10 days off….NAH GONNA DUH IT. Not gonna harsh my taper, man.

[Voodoo, High Tide thought cloud: “BUT, BUT….KBs are the runner’s best friend. Posterior chain, hamstrings, glutes, they make you faster.”] They are right, of course. But not, after 6-8 months off, if you put them in the week before a race. I might be stupid, but I am not dumb. So that’s why you get a little bit of KBs and a lot of conditioning today. Thank Witch Doctor.

Surprised that we had 6 for the 0500 Skunk Runner. I thought that more or less died when Sussudio packed up his capri pants and moved to Del Boca Vista. Not surprised, however, that Fletch rolled in at 5:02. Not content to just catch up, he rolls down his windows to survey the faces and says….”Only you guys, eh? Go ahead (you sluggardly clumps of flesh), I’ll catch this group in no time. Probably have time to drop another deuce beforehand, too.” Those weren’t his exact words, but that’s what he meant. I saw a TED Talk on Body Language one time so I know these things. And catch us he did.

Meanwhile, the Spacklers, Bounces and Freedoms of the world were doing what they do at 0500: Swerving, yelling and honking at runners; working on masturbation jokes; and anthropomorphizing cast iron gorilla heads. Respectively, mind you, so as to not confuse the reader (and whatever body oversees 4 point Baptists). The Oxford semi-colon is key. (Funny thing there…I typed “Semi” and “Colon” and the concession stand at SCMS immediately came to mind. True story.)

Before we go any further, a note to any barrister reading this: your client was told, in a great cloud of 24 witnesses, that what was to follow were only suggestions and that he should have the common sense to KNOW THINESELF and modify as necessary. [Mermaid, your house is safe on my watch, buddy.] Thus forewarned, we moseyed to the suicide curb. Well, not entirely accurate: we walked down there. We started with some swings and ended up by doing cleans, reverse lunges and presses. This is a happy coincidence because when stacked one on top of the other, you get a Viking Salute, one of my favorites. The main set went like this:

9 Cleans ea. side, run to second median and back
6 Cleans ea side, run to bottom of hill and back
3 cleans ea side, run to top of hill and back

Repeat with Reverse Lunges. Then repeat again with Presses. Then, stack them together and do the combined movements, or modified version, 3 times ea side, with the same suicide stations.

The backwards run up the hill on the last set reminded me of the backward bear crawl for some reason so we assembled at the bottom of the hill and, with a 25 arse salute to passing traffic, BBC’d up the hill with our KBs in tow, an exercise well-received by all who did it (not many).

Back for Mary followed byt a little bit of running and stretching. FINIS.

MOLESKINE

I gotta tell ya, I worked harder during this BB than I did during the workout. Quiet bunch today. It was probably the tension between Header and Arena that killed the buzz. Their respective MS Soccer teams face off in Game of the Century: The Carmel Candy Apples vs. Kings of the Jungle. In an unfortunate turn of events for the Candy Apples, Header, the always-effervescent Head Candy Apple, says their best player’s dad took the doors off the family Jeep, got caught in a freak 68 degree cold snap, and is hypothermic (the kid, not the dad). Or maybe just has the sniffles, but either way is expected to recover fully but won’t play today. Arena, the rock-ribbed Capital-P Presbyterian that he is replied. “Don’t matter no way. We be Frozen, Chosen and Bull-dozin’.” The blood-letting begins at 4:15 at Warner. Get your tickets.before they sell out. I hate to poke the Happy Candy Apple and then not show but I’ll be half way to Virginia watching my middle child run for 13 minutes.

F3 Hashtag Pro Tip: Chatty is good during the work out and when counting. Not good during COT.

Peace out.

P.S.: Rachel Price’s birthday today. Some gifts from her to you: