The morning began as any other, the South Charlotte gloom permeated with humidity and the early arrivers stretching and talking. Then the usual Area 51 PAX noticed something, a line of cars clustered tightly together approached the AO slowly, but with purpose. Out into the darkness stepped a contingent from Ballantyneistan, familiar faces all, but seen rarely along Pineville Matthews Road. Questions arose. Was Anvil now disputed territory? Did the descending horde arrive in seek of combat, either of the hand to hand or interpretive dance variety? It turns out our SOB friends just missed us and wished to share the muggy, mid-July gloom. Approximately 90% of the disclaimer was correctly provided, with Mermaid reminding the group that YHC is not a professional, which would become evident over the ensuing 45 minutes.
We began with a mosey to the AstroTurf area at the front of the church for a warm-up:
After deeming ourselves sufficiently warm, we moved on to the next phase of the proceedings, which consisted of a cluster of 50 merkins, 50 squats, and 50 Russian Twists including the instructions to perform the exercises slowly, with good form, and broken up in whatever fashion each man saw fit. Once finished fit a spot on the wall for a bit of People’s Chair. YHC then instructed the PAX to move themselves to the hot box/snack shack/concession stand as fast as possible. The wild sprint that followed was most likely the first instance where the collective group wondered if the Q was of sound mind and sufficiently suited to lead a workout.
Once the group reconvened in the hot box the next cluster of exercises was called, consisting of 25 Bulgarian Split Squats each leg, 50 dips, and 50 incline merkins. Mumblechatter was light to non-existent thus far, which came at a bit of a surprise to YHC. Next we moseyed to the rock pile.
To the shock of absolutely nobody, we wound up in the rocks. Instructions were given to find a rock worthy of spending some good quality time with, in other words, don’t get crazy. We circled up and performed 5 sets of 5 reps of the Sots Press and the overhead squat. The Sots press is a weightlifting exercise in which the lifter presses weight overhead, then squats down and subsequently presses the weight overhead again. It is a wonderful exercise that is good for the mind, body, and spirit. At this point YHC began to wonder if mutiny was imminent, and if arming the PAX with rocks was an idea unwise. Fortunately YHC did not meet the same fate as characters in the short story “The Lottery” (also a TV movie starring former MTV personality Dan Cortese) so we took our rocks and lined up across the parking lot.
More fun with rocks followed as we mutated Mermaid’s Triple Nickel (patent pending) with 5 diamond merkins on the rock and 5 front presses at each end, connected by long, slow walks holding the rocks overhead. It was gloriously absurd. Return the rocks to the ditch and slowly mosey to the light post, then run hard to the small rock wall in the corner of the AO. Alf was leading the way on most of the run when Mr. Bean turned on the jets (The British company Rolls Royce makes jet engines as we all know) and ran faster than a member of the UKIP fleeing Brussels.
We then circled up for Guantanamo, PAX on backs, heads in and feet out. Everyone elevates their feet off the ground then each man makes his way around the circle attempting to push the feet of everyone else down to the ground. Slege was putting some extra mustard on his pushes, well done young sir. Others are in dire need of some serious strength work and shall remain nameless here, their soccer armed shame going unspoken. Guantanamo was terrible and you all can thank Sony, from whom YHC learned (stole) it. Next we ran to the picnic tables to repeat the Bulgarian Split Squat/Incline Merkin/Dip cluster. Lastly YHC outsourced Mary to a few of the PAX as we only had four minutes to grind out. Zero burpees OYO tied a nice bow on this package of nonsense.
Anvil was the first workout YHC ever posted at approximately 23.5 months ago after finally submitting to Boutique’s repeated EH attempts. Ever since that day YHC has been wanting to lead this workout because this F3 movement, and all of you people have become an important part of YHC’s existence here on the big ball. Thank you to the 19 others than joined me this morning, I hope I did this workout justice.
Shoulders are smoked. Enjoyed slowing it down a bit and doing strength work, especially while trying to get the bum wheel back to normal. Solid Q and appreciated the back stories for some of those squat with presses and whatever they were called. Good variety. Triple Nickle with overhead rock carry was brutal.
Cobains for not getting you on the Q schedule while YHC was Anvil site Q. Would have been more than happy to do so, but never knew you wanted a go at it. Speak up, volunteer, that’s how we get all things done around here. Great to get back out with the men of Anvil. Glad to see Bean, Outback, and Overhead. Been a while.
About the author