The Kevlar Backblast

  • When:2/13/15
  • QIC: Horsehead
  • The PAX: Horsehead (QIC), Spackler, Tiger Rag, Good Hands, Young Love, Floor Slapper, Cottontail, Uncle Si, Sussudio, Alf, Pop Tart, Turkey Leg, Crabcake, Hairball,


The Kevlar Backblast

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

That’s a mouthfull, supposedly an irrational fear of Friday the 13th. Definitely not my deal, since I have always loved the number 13 and frequently chose it as a kid for uniforms and other things when given the opportunity. I guess being named Jason presented a special bond between me and the number, or maybe I have just always been strange . . . but let’s not get too sidetracked here.

14 adventuresome souls posted at Kevlar this AM for my first Q at this gem of a workout, one for some awkward solo pre-kettlebell and another for secret activities in his vehicle.

THE STRANGE:

Mosey past the High School, down the road, and down the dark road to the Cemetery that most of the PAX did not know existed on the property.

Mushmouthed disclaimer (more on that later) while we did the standard fare of warmup exercises set to Michael Jackson’s famous Thriller on my bluetooth speaker. The Thriller Imperial Walkers were probably my favorite. This is truly adult recess.

Mosey back to church parking lot while we picked up TR and Sussudio, who were still in the parking lot exploring their feelings for one another.

Set of 7s on the hill – burpees at the bottom and merkins at the top. More mushmouthed instructions led to some initial confusion, but we figured it out.

Mosey back to High School for stations:

1) Lap around the track
2) Kettlebell swings with assortment of bells, including TRs giant hernia-blaster thing
3) Hairburners with my snow sled disks (lots of complaining)
4) Derkins on the tires filled with ice water
5) Pullups on high bars or Alf pull-ups on low bars

Alternate stations for Spackler:

1) Lap around the track
2) Windbreaking
3) Complaining about stuff
4) Scratching
5) Three total pullups on the low bars

Repeat 4 or 5 times – I forget, then a lap for everyone except those who just ran. I think they just stood around while we ran and kvetched about something.

Circle up for Mary, including Flutters, Dollies, Rosalitas, and some Protractors

Queue up the speaker for another embarrassing round of “Eternal Flame” push-o-rama.

Scorecard:
Bangles 3 / Pax 0

COMMENTARY:

Thriller in the Cemetery was interesting – lots of awkward glances and laughs there. Especially loved the Imperial Walkers. That was a last min idea. You’re welcome.

Got dizzy during the hill work and almost toppled backwards. I don’t think anyone picked up on that, but it was not a good situation. Not sure what happened there, but it didn’t feel good in my head for a few mins.

The cold air and my early arrival for setup had my lips pretty frozen and numb and everything I tried to say for a while came out mushmouthed. I’m generally about 78% unintelligible on a normal day to the big city pax, so this was certainly a challenge and led to some puzzled looks. Oh well – folks talk funny at Kevlar, get used to it.

The snow saucers work better on the thick grass of Outland and Semi-Gloss’s back than they do on the Moonscape field at Kevlar. Should have tested them on Sussudios head first.

TR apparently has taken his relationship with his many kettlebells to the next level. Perhaps this is what he was doing in his car before the workout – writing a ballad or love poem or something. Anyways . . . he got a little fired when some some of the ham handed pax did not use proper etiquette when placing his kettlebells on the ground. Perhaps there is some sort of Meathead cotillion we can all attend to learn the proper manners and decorum when handling these prized delicate objects. Oh well, thanks for letting me borrow them and for not making me carry the huge one back.

Spackler has taken F3 to the next level – basically invents his own advanced workouts to challenge himself while we all struggle with the basics. You set a high bar my friend.

Last night was interesting . . . sitting in my chair downloading some songs for the workout on Rhapsody when I keyed up the “Eternal Flame” on the speakers. Looked around and nobody was there, so I turned it up a bit and may or may not have gotten into a little air microphone business when the M walked in and gave me a look I have not seen before. Oh yeah. She was concerned, I think.

I have to give some serious credit to Bulldog. He makes these gear workouts look easy. He challenged me to set one up for my Q, and I struggled with working out the details. Ended up with something that I think worked ok, only one failure station out of 5? He would have had probably 10 stations and changed up the exercises each time while being mercilessly heckled – truly a skill my friend. We can only try to imitate.

Announcements:

Golf is almost full – like 2 spots left, I think.

Mud Run, BRR, etc . . .

– Horsehead

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Spackler
9 years ago

Not sure which look I’d rather see, the one your M gave you when she walked into the Eternal Flame room or the one you gave her when you found you were caught singing to the air mic. Either way priceless.

If I set the bar high than all of you are slack b*stards.

That was the 2nd oddest workout I have attended. And only bc of the COP to Thriller. That was enough to throw the whole thing into a weird spiral. Nonetheless a sweat was broken which says a lot when it is 20°. Good work HH.

Spackler
9 years ago

Had to have been there……

Spackler
Reply to  Horsehead
9 years ago

Doesn’t take much to lap you on that hill…..

Spackler
Reply to  Horsehead
9 years ago

And no feelings need to get hurt.

Simba
9 years ago

The amazing just continues right through these comments. Sorry to miss out.

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