Don’t Sell Your Sole

Don’t Sell Your Sole

Nineteen independently-minded Pax assembled of their own free will, clear of conscience and pure of heart–discounting for a moment original sin / total depravity.  Which reminds me, sounds like Joust had some good numbers today.

There were four for a KB appetizer consisting of 2 Brits and 2 Hairy American Winning Machines.  Cottontail didn’t stoop to Haggis’s level by bringing a trailer hitch to KB but he came close with his 1940s Iggy Mandlebaum dumbbell (GO TIME).  But credit where credit is due: What he lacked in grace he made up for with awkwardness.

In contrast to the throwback manliness of Cottontail’s dumbbell, was Sussudio’s,  ahem, “dog,” Kiara. He was unsure of the breed (which is what I would say, too, if I had a dog like that) but it appeared to be a mix of Maltese, guinea pig and a loofah. Kiara is apparently named after the 5th generation lioness in the lineage of the Lion King and Simba, having not seen his daughter in some time offered thanks while inspecting his glands.  Kiara was quite pleased with the whole production.

After Sussudio put the “dog” back in the glove box, the show went on.

THE THANG

Warm Up Burpees:

• Standard x 10
• Long Sleeves x 15
• Long Sleeves and Tights x 20 (and he still almost beat the rest of us. #Webster)

WARM UP CIRCUIT

• Mosey to the S. Entrance.
• Mosey to 1st Wrong Way sign – SSH x 18
• Mosey to 2nd Wrong Way sign – Low Slow Squats x 15
• Mosey to 3rd Wrong Way sign – I Walkers and salutations from the ducks.
• Mosey to 4th Wrong Way sign – Slow merkins x 15 or so (because real people doing real merkins can’t do 10 sets of 50 diamonds, like that crap they pull at Joust)
• Mosey to N. Entrance – Can’t recall, but it was tough, you can be sure.  Also found Joker wandering in the from the cemetery.

MERKIN CIRCUIT

• Same stops with 7 diamonds (keeping it real, see above)

LEG CIRCUIT

• Same stops with 10 squat jumps.

CORE CIRCUIT

• Same stops with 7 heels to heaven

Jailbreak back to the house, with a few minutes of Mary before COT.

MOLESKIN(E?)

• Like most Thursday nights after the kids are asleep, I settled down with my Ham radio and police scanner to catch up on international and local events. Soon after getting my channels squelched, I got a text from one of my informants who has infiltrated a Group Texting gang, The Sons of Emoji.  At risk of life, limb and not being invited to pick up soccer at Elon Park, our courageous mole forwards me this group text message, from the gang leader himself:  “Dear Valued Pax:  Your friendship/acquaintance/existence is very important to us and we need your warm body to artificially inflate numbers tomorrow at Joust.  Turns out that Meathead Stone Cold let the place go to heck but now that we have a soccer player running the place, we need your support.  If you can fog a mirror, post.“
• With loins girded, I took to Twitter to stem such blatant astro-turfing.  The resulting twitter slap-fight ended with me confidently (it turns out over-confidently) stating that I would donate one pair of shoes to #SoleRedemption for every pax more that posted at Joust (8 week rolling avg = 7.71 over Kevlar (8 week rolling avg = 20.86).  Knowing I was playing with house money, I upped the ante to not just this Friday but the next three after it.  I came this close to spotting them 5 pax, too….
• The results after Week 1 puts 10 pairs of shoes on the Big Board for the CRM men.
• There was also considerable Twitter noise Thursday about the whose hill / mountain was bigger, Joust’s or Centurian’s [sic].  The suggestion of a Home and Away between the two AOs was met with crickets.  Bwaak, bwaak.
• Fine work by the Kevlar men, a shining example of integrity and uprightness. Don’t be swayed by the culture whispering in your ear.  Do the right thing.  And if you don’t–well, more shoes on the Big Board.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• Sussudio is Kevlar ShoeQ for #SoleRedemption: http://f3nation.com/2014/10/16/project-soleredemption-to-benefit-charlotte-rescue-mission/
• Olympus is celebrating it’s one year anniversary tomorrow.  Get out there and support them, lest the Sons of Emoji come knocking.
• Mile Time Trial at Community House Middle School this Tuesday.  Look for more info on all the appropriate Comz channels.  Looking to borrow a pair of Nike Frees, size 12.  DM me.